I’ve known for awhile that I have a bit of a sixth sense towards people, but I’ve only come to realize very recently just how significant that using it as a guide has been in my life. There’s certain people in my life that when I’ve met them or have run across them somehow, I could just tell that I was supposed to know them for some reason. And without fail, every single person that I’ve ever felt this way about has ended up making a profound difference in my life for the better. It doesn’t matter if they’re male or female, gay or straight, left or right, brown, yellow or purple, or pro or anti whatever-the-fuck the country is fighting about this week. Petty shit like that doesn’t fucking matter to me, and if that’s how you’re divvying people up and in and out of your life, you’re a fucking idiot. If you truly want to grow and expand as a person, you need to find people who think and believe different than you, and I’ve learned so much from people that I might not agree with even a single fucking thing on elsewhere in life, but I digress.
The first time that this “sense” of mine went off towards anyone at all, it went off towards this beautiful woman right here, 21 years ago today as freshman at Penn State. Well, it’d actually gone off a few weeks before that, but we weren’t “official” yet - you get the idea. I didn’t have the slightest freaking clue what I felt or how I knew, because I’d never felt like this about anyone before, but I just “knew” she was the one. This sense suddenly went from nothing to pegging the scales at “eleventy”, and I’m glad I was smart enough to listen and asked her out, because here we are today 21 years later.
After all the shit we’ve been through - and my little young adult cancer adventure is just the tip of the iceberg at this point - what a blessing it’s been to have the love that we share powering us through some really dark and awful times. We’re not normal people. We haven’t had normal life experiences, and in so many ways our lives and the challenges we’ve faced have been truly extraordinary. I couldn’t imagine facing what we’ve faced with anyone but this amazing beauty right here. I think the Universe knew that we would need each other and only each other to truly grow and evolve together, and to face what we would face in life, and conspired to allow us to find each other exactly when we were ready, and not a moment before.
I’m going to write a memoir one day not about cancer, but about the past 10 years of our lives and this batshit fucking crazy and insane decade of our 30’s. It’s the story behind the story, and I guarantee you that every single one of you who will read it will be left absolutely speechless. You’ll be able to look at either one of us and easily think that we surely must be cursed or doomed, because for awhile that’s what I believed myself. How could I not?? It was taking every single thing that I had at some points and even some things that I didn’t, to NOT believe that, and to find ways to heal and evolve past the challenges that life had thrown at us once again. And you know what? Fuck all that shit.
The only fucking thing I need to prove that I’m NOT cursed, is this beautiful woman that I get to have in my life right here. Fuck everything else. This right here is my love, my joy, my happiness, and my everything. She’s the one, she’s always been the one, and she’ll always be the one, and the fact that she’s mine makes everything that’s been so wrong in our world so RIGHT for me. And it’s true because I believe it, and in the end, what you believe and what you choose to believe are the only fucking things that matter. I believe with all of my heart and soul that I’m truly blessed and the luckiest man in the world to have this amazing woman right here, and for all the rest of you that have meant so much to me too. And so it’s true.
I love you, Debbie Lin. Happy 21 YEARS TOGETHER! (and MARRIED for 13 years on the 16th!)