People's Eyes Tell Me More About Them Than Their Mouths
While in such distressed states, I've needed to be able to look someone in their eyes and just know that they're with me, that their hearts and their intentions towards me are pure, and I've needed to feel their strength, their confidence, and their positive energy as my own, because lord knows I've needed every bit of it.
As a cancer survivor, I've had 99 things on my mind, 99 things that have been hurting me, and 99 things that I've needed to heal from. The last thing I've ever needed is something or someone external to that, dragging me down even further. While in such distressed states, I've needed to be able to look someone in their eyes and just know that they're with me, that their hearts and their intentions towards me are pure, and I've needed to feel their strength, their confidence, and their positive energy as my own, because lord knows I've needed every bit of it. I can't have anyone dragging me down. A person's eyes are the windows into their souls. They give it all away. Listen to what your instincts are telling you about people, and use that as your guide to find the people that you need to help pull you through such difficult times, and to discard those that are no good for you. Eyes give it all away.
StevePake.com
You Are The Result of 4 Billion Years of Evolutionary Success - Act Like It
Part of coping with post-traumatic stress after cancer has been my attitude and mindset towards it, and the realization that there is NOTHING wrong with me. PTS is a very normal thing to experience for anyone who's been through traumatic experiences.
Part of coping with post-traumatic stress after cancer has been my attitude and mindset towards it, and the realization that there is NOTHING wrong with me. PTS is a very normal thing to experience for anyone who's been through traumatic experiences. But because PTS is only generically referred to as "PTSD", post-traumatic stress DISORDER, people just assume that there's something wrong with them, are afraid to talk about it, and don't seek the support that they need. We did not come to the position that we're in on our planet because we have poor instincts. We actually have extremely powerful instincts that are always lurking below the surface, and that serve us extremely well. PTS after traumatic events is not what's wrong with you, it's what's RIGHT. Check out my series of essays about PTS/PTSD After Cancer at my website.
StevePake.com
Sometimes You Just Have To Remove People Without Warning
As cancer survivors, we already have 99 things on my mind that are hurting us, that we're worried about, or afraid of. The last thing we need, is something or someone external to that adding to that burden.
As cancer survivors, we already have 99 things on my mind that are hurting us, that we're worried about, or afraid of. The last thing we need, is something or someone external to that adding to that burden. I don't have the time, and don't have the energy. I'm already hurting inside and now you're hurting me too. You just need go. It doesn't mean I hated you, and I might have even loved you. I just couldn't stand to be hurt anymore.
One of the most challenging, painful, and awkward things I've ever had to do as a cancer survivor, is to cut people off. Yes, disrupting personal relationships can be messy, painful, and chaotic, but you'll be so much better off in the end. Not only will you free yourself of additional sources of pain, but your heart and your mind will be open to new opportunities. Not only will you find people that are so much better for you, but you'll find those that can truly add to your life rather than subtract, and life will be so much better better in the end. Never hesitate to axe negative and toxic people out of your life, and there's absolutely no need to apologize, either!
StevePake.com
You Own Everything That Happened To You
Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should've behaved better.
I’m sorry to say, there are a few people out there that I’ve had quite challenging feelings towards. But this is my story, these are my experiences, and this is how various people and things out there have affected me, for better or for worse. The point is not to shame, but to share with others all of the ways in which we feel pain. It's been impossible to not identify some, but I’ve actually gone to great lengths to protect others that I’ve mentioned, because they’re still cared for, and I don’t want to hurt them by identifying them in any way to others.
You’re never going to know how close we are to the edge of our sanity. We don’t commonly show it, because we know people just aren’t going to understand unless they’ve been there too. We’re already feeling threatened, and possibly cornered by cancer. Even if we're in remission or all clear, it's still finding ways to push our buttons most every single day. You don't just "get over" cancer like you get over the flu. It scars you very deeply inside.
You need to be at your very best around us. You need to be able to bring positive and uplifting energy to the table, and we need to sense that your hearts and your intentions towards us are pure and honest. If we even suspect any impropriety from you, you’re doing it wrong. Believe me when I say, we’re not going to react well. Cancer can already have us on full alert. We might already be getting pushed to our limits, even if you have no idea. You didn’t see me wiping away tears five minutes ago, and now you’re pushing my buttons too. In the blink of an eye, you'll be gone.
"10 Important Lessons on Life, Love, and Forgiveness After Cancer"
All has been forgiven. It's funny how life works. It was because I had felt so betrayed and disgusted, that I completely changed directions, and found the path that I was meant to be on. It's because I had felt so abandoned, that I finally opened my mind and found what was truly meant for me in this world. Maybe, sometimes, we need to hurt like this, and that it's only through periods of great suffering that we finally rise up, and make the changes that we need to make in our lives in order to thrive. Years have passed now in most cases, and I've actually become very thankful for these people, despite the pain they had caused initially. Had I not been so hurt, I probably wouldn't have made the changes that I needed to in my life. It's through this realization that I've been able to forgive and love again, and have found the peace that I've needed.
I've come full circle, and actually have very kind things to say towards those that had hurt me in the past. I don't think some of them could ever possibly understand why or how, but at least I can feel that love and appreciation for myself through this writing, even if they'll never know. :)
StevePake.com