PTSD After Cancer
This is my series of essays on post-traumatic stress after cancer, which I began experiencing in December of 2012, just short of two years after my cancer diagnosis. Overcoming PTS/PTSD after cancer is the most significant challenge that I've faced not just through my cancer experience, but in all of my life. These essays represent my darkest moments, all of the pain that I felt inside, and all that I've done in the aftermath to cope, to heal, and to manage. I have never been to see a therapist, nor have I ever been on any sort of anxiety or anti-depressant medications. I handled this all on my own, with strong support from my family and friends.
It took me all of 2013 to get my post-traumatic stress fully under control, and it was such a painful period of my life that it took another two years beyond that until 2015, just to start opening up and writing about it. Parts I and II were published to a huge response in late 2015, and Part III was finally completed in April 2016. You can also read "A Snapshot of Post-Traumatic Stress", if you're just looking for a small taste of what this is like. Post-traumatic stress is awful, and I would not wish full-blown post-traumatic stress disorder on even my worst sworn enemy. It's inhumane. It's my hope that by baring my soul to the world on such a painful topic, that others out there hurting from this won't feel so alone, and that it will help others find their way through this as I have.
These essays can be read standalone, but will make the most sense if read sequentially, bottom to top.
April 2020 Update: For the past several years, I have not been able to get anywhere near any of these blogs or even read them, except for Part III. The sole exception is if I’m actively supporting someone through their own PTSD experiences, in which case I’m able to re-immerse myself without causing harm, but that’s it. Otherwise this is just not a place that my mind can go anymore. I knew this was something that I would eventually need to forget, which is why I put so much effort into writing about it while I still could. I didn’t want this to be lost to the world because of its power to help others. Thankfully, I’ve largely remained PTSD free. COVID19 has recently caused some PTSD tremors, and I know that some of the triggers are still there in the background, but other than that, this is just not something that affects me anymore. Thank God for that.
Original Text: Nearly two years of effort, so many tears, and more than a few bottles of wine went into writing these essays about such a deeply personal and painful topic. I've received many amazing comments and emails in response to these essays, and I have to say THANK YOU!!!! I love every single one that I get! Your comments and messages mean the world to me, and make all of this worth it. It makes me happy beyond belief that all of this is helping others through their own pain and journeys, and that it resonates so well. Please do keep the comments and messages coming. I would love to hear from you on how you found these essays, how they've affected you, and the difference they've made. Or drop a line just to say hello! Thank you!!
God bless,
StevePake.com
In Part 1 of these essays, I described what posttraumatic stress felt like to experience, and in Part II, I described the various things that I did to cope with and recover from it. In this final essay, I'm sharing the things that I've done to manage my life after suffering from posttrauamtic stress after cancer.