A New Life and a Fresh Start With Faith a Decade After Testicular Cancer
It’s been ages since I’ve done much in the way of writing about my cancer journey here, but it’s time to start writing again.
It’s been ages since I’ve done much in the way of writing about my cancer journey here, but it’s time to start writing again.
It had actually been my intention to start writing a “decade survivor” series of articles back in 2020, and then start publishing them in 2021 to celebrate that year. February 14, 2021 was the day I officially became a decade survivor of testicular cancer. Instead, we saw total mayhem in our world, COVID madness throughout 2020, a beyond chaotic presidential election cycle, and the series never got written. It would have been lost in the noise with everything going on in the world, but that’s okay as it would have been premature.
What’s happened with me personally in the past few years has been astonishing. Anything I might have written before would have been meaningless, as the Lord saw fit to evolve me once again. My return to the Lord’s house, and reclaiming the Christianity of my youth after 25 years as a lost sheep adult, has changed everything.
It’s changed my entire outlook on life. It changes everything about how I see my cancer experience now, and how I would have approached so many things so much differently. It’s also changed completely how I see the world today, and how I see myself fitting into it.
I would say that the relatively minuscule, and unnecessarily painful baby-step by baby-step slow crawl evolutionary process that I experienced throughout my first decade as a cancer survivor, as detailed on this very website, pales in comparison to the complete rebirth that I’ve experienced since turning my life back to Christ in 2021. When it comes to cancer and all that I went through, I feel like I could re-write nearly my entire website at this point.
What are you looking for in life? Peace? Hope? Security? Belonging? Purpose? Meaning? Confidence? Inspiration? Answers? Knowledge? Truth?
God’s eternal kingdom has all of this, and so much more.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33, KJV)
As I peruse back through old blogs that I’ve written, some of them, like this one, just make me shake my head in literal disbelief and laugh at this point.
In that blog, I lamented the perpetual feelings of insecurity that I’d had and perpetual cycles of depression even six years out from my cancer fight.
I HAVE found a way to feel that sense of peace and security again, through my faith in Jesus Christ. The answer was right in front of me all along, if only I had listened. There was no need to suffer through all that I did. Indeed, I suffered due to my lack of faith.
Oh that you had paid attention to my commandments!
Then your peace would have been like a river,
and your righteousness like the waves of the sea; (Isaiah 48:18, ESV)
My faith permeates everything in my life at this point, and I finally feel called once again to write, to share in this personal evolution and all that I’ve learned, and to hopefully help other struggling souls out there find their way, whether cancer survivors or not.
God bless,
Steve Pake
How Returning To Church For the First Time in 25 Years Changed My Life
I was raised in the Catholic church, but quickly fell away from the church after leaving home for college in 1996, and have never attended church as an adult. Despite having been baptized and confirmed and doing all of the things a good young Catholic boy ought to have done (except becoming an altar boy, which I refused), I never established a firm connection with either God or the church during my childhood, but have still largely lived a very moral and Christian life. This is the story of my return to Faith, the Church, and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
I was raised in the Catholic church, but quickly fell away from the church after leaving home for college in 1996, and have never attended church as an adult. Despite having been baptized and confirmed and doing all of the things a good young Catholic boy ought to have done (except becoming an altar boy, which I refused), I never established a firm connection with either God or the church during my childhood, but have still largely lived a very moral and Christian life.
This is the story of my return to Faith, the Church, and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Blackpilled
I think we all reach a point in our lives when all of our accumulated traumas, tragedies, disasters, failures, disappointments, betrayals, and back-stabbings all seemingly reach a critical mass that serves to completely demoralize and black pill us. Being in your 40’s is certainly more than enough time for that. I had someone threatening to kill my entire family, kids included, for the better part of a decade. My own body betrayed me in the worst possible way and tried to kill itself, when I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer eleven years ago at only 33 years old. There were times I wanted to do it myself in the midst of PTSD and other mental health issues that developed after my brutal fight against cancer, thinking it might just be easier that way. Terrible tragedies have struck elsewhere in our families that have been unfathomable. Numerous people that I had cared about and thought were friends attempted to sabotage me both personally and professionally. I even had years of non-profit work that was benefiting thousands of fellow cancer fighters and survivors nonsensically destroyed, all done out of the goodness of my heart, for no reason whatsoever other than spite or jealousy, or who knows what. The end result of going above and beyond for the people that my wife and I have loved and cared about in this world has always been the same – daggers in our backs and spit in our faces. The world has truly been a thankless place, and it’s all taken a terrible toll on us spiritually.
I had come of age and went through most all of my 20’s as a perpetual optimist and upbeat person. There hadn’t been a single depressive ‘bone’ in my body, but truthfully I’d been on the start of a slow spiritual slide to oblivion for years throughout most of my 30’s, long before covid ever happened and the world collectively went insane. Cancer rocked my world, but it became just the tip of the proverbial iceberg, or more accurately just one of many icebergs that found their way into our lives. The sum of all that my family and I have been through over the past 10-15 years has been completely exhausting mentally, physically, and spiritually, to the point that I exited 2019 in my early-40’s at a spiritual zero, completely deflated and demoralized, and just had nothing left to give the world anymore. I wanted nothing more than a relatively peaceful, quiet, and uneventful 2020 and entire next decade, and I need not elaborate to anyone reading this blog on anything that’s happened since then. What we’ve all been witness to thus far in the 2020’s has been absolutely astonishing, incomprehensible, and downright evil and demonic in so many ways, and on top of so much personal pain from the past. But all that’s been happening in the world hasn’t even been the worst.
Fighting cancer in 2011, not the first and not the last of many terrifying turns in our lives. Very recently, I worried this is what my life would become again, possibly without a positive outcome.
My final “black pilling” came in October of 2021 when I was having the most serious second cancer scare that I’d ever had in all of my years as a cancer survivor. Unlike so many previous recurrence or second cancer scares that are mostly just head games, this time there was a real physical mass that I felt that was incredibly disconcerting, and actually had to book a scan for the first time in many years to get it checked out. I wondered if this was it for me finally, as I was on hold for 3 weeks to get it checked out.
The sheer insanity of the rest of the world tends to fade away when you’re worried if you’ll even be around in another month or not. And that’s when those old demons found their way back into my head, and I once again wondered if it would be easier to just end it all myself.
The Warm Hand of God and the Whisper In My Ear
And so there I sat in my basement alone late one night in November of 2021 after everyone else in the house had gone to bed, just allowing myself some private time to grieve ever so slightly a tiny fraction of all of the pain I had been keeping locked inside for so long. Tears began falling for my country, for all that humanity has had to face, and for all of the previously unthinkable levels of evil and wickedness that we’ve been witness to, while wondering how it could even be so? Tears fell for my children, horrified as a parent of the world they’re soon going to inherit, and wondering what I had done to fail them? And more tears fell as a cancer survivor, once again fearing for my life as my upcoming scan loomed, terrified that I wouldn’t even be around any more to help guide them.
My worst fears as a cancer fighter and survivor have never really been about death or dying, but rather leaving my children alone in this world without their father to help guide them and protect them. Children need their fathers, and don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
I did something I had never done before, and cried aloud to Jesus to save me from all that had been tormenting me inside, and that’s when it happened. I was alone in my cold basement, but all of a sudden felt warmth on my right shoulder as if a hand was reaching down to touch me, and a whisper in my ear that said, “it will be okay.” I was completely startled by this, and in that instant every last bit of my anxiety left me, replaced with an incredible sense of peace and calm. It was surreal and entirely external. In years past of fighting anxiety attacks, depression, and PTSD episodes mostly from my cancer aftermath that could last hours or even days, not once did I ever have anything stop inner pain dead in its tracks like this. I’m not even going to pretend to know whether what I experienced in that moment was truly the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit reaching into my mind, or an angel. All I know is that I cried aloud to Jesus for help, and actually heard and felt an answer.
In that moment there was complete peace in my soul, because I knew I wasn’t alone. I’ll never forget this moment, and that’s when I knew I had to get back to church.
It All Started With The Bible
Truth be told, I had been feeling closer and more connected to God than I ever had in my life throughout 2021 thanks to a friend that had gifted me a beautiful set of Bibles to read, after we had been talking about all that had been going on in the world. My friend served as yet another strong witness to Christ for me. I admired his confidence in God and in his beliefs, and knew this was what I needed. I felt the desire to truly learn the word for the first time in my life with all of my heart and soul. Never has it been more clear to me that evil doesn’t just exist in the world, it rules it. If Satan exists, then God absolutely exists also, and I needed to learn and know His word.
I never considered myself an atheist, but rather agnostic throughout much of my adult life, but now felt called to God. The Bible set my friend gifted me were absolutely gorgeous and just served as further encouragement to read the word, and did. I soon purchased an entire stack of Bibles for multiple rooms in my house, one for my truck, one for my office, and even a John MacArthur study Bible, because you quickly learn that the Bible isn’t something you could ever come close to fully comprehending on your own, and especially not as a beginner and first time reader of the Bible.
My Bible collection grew rather quickly. This isn’t all of them.
I had been given a Bible to read in Catholic Sunday school as a child, but where do you even begin? I was probably barely 10, but just didn’t have the guidance needed to even know. Perhaps I wasn’t ready for it all back then, but I was now, after all that life had put my family and I through.
What I’ve read in the Bible has been astonishing. The books of John in the New Testament in particular blew my mind. Those and so many of the books of Paul and even many Old Testament books all felt like they could have been written about today despite being thousands of years old. The Bible is truly timeless. I’ve learned so much about the history of humanity, how God works, the cycles that humanity goes through, the true nature of the world that we live in, and so much more. I know what the resurrection of Christ truly means, and that the end has already been written. I don’t feel like a single minute spent reading the Bible has ever been wasted. Everything that I’ve ever worried about or struggled with has all been answered in the Bible, and so much more that I couldn’t possibly have thought of on my own. It’s truly the greatest story ever told, the greatest history book ever written, and a wealth of knowledge for all time. The Bible is our owner’s manual for life, a blessing from our creator Himself.
Going To Church For The First Time in 25 Years
Sunday, November 14th, 2021 was the day, my first time going to church in 25 years.
I had been invited by two different friends to FCF Church (Frederick Christian Fellowship) in Frederick, MD during dark times in years past, but had always politely declined. “Religion wasn’t what I needed,” and I didn’t think the church could possibly have anything to offer me. Despite it being a 35 minute drive away with many dozens of closer churches, I felt called to this church somehow. I knew nothing of what the church was, didn’t know who its Pastors were, what denomination it was, had barely even seen its website, hadn’t watched a single livestream, and didn’t know it had a YouTube channel either. FCF Church was a complete blank slate to me, but somehow I knew I had to be there, and that this was the day.
Spiritual Defibrillation
Services at FCF Church are held in a large auditorium in the main building that seats around a thousand. A full band led by Associate Pastor Pete Gillott opened the service with a song called “The Church Is Alive” by River Valley Worship, and it most certainly felt alive. I had never heard such amazing Christian worship music in my entire life, and had no clue that such music even existed, none whatsoever! It was amazing and I loved it, and the atmosphere felt electric. I had never felt so much positive and uplifting energy, and I could feel it flowing right through my soul, and had tears welling up in my eyes as the band played several more songs. It was just beautiful, and unlike anything I had ever seen, felt, and heard. Imagine being at rock bottom spiritually and feeling completely dejected, but in an instant being cranked up to 11. That’s what it felt like, literally a spiritual defibrillation and being brought back to life.
Pastor Pete himself will joke that he’s not much of a singer (could have fooled me!) but that he can sing to lead a congregation. His wife, Jess, however, is truly gifted with an absolutely astonishing voice. The FCF band often sings music from Elevation Worship, Bethel Music, Hillsong Worship, James River, Phil Wickham, and more. My jaw hits the floor at every service that I attend just from the musical talent alone from Pastor Pete, his wife Jess, and the entire FCF band. When you have that much talent and energy on display, it can jolt one awake spiritually in a way that more traditional and softly sung worship hymns never could.
Pastor Pete describes the FCF music as “authentic love that’s freely expressed,” but for myself it’s even better and far more powerful than that. I know different people need different things, and have different expectations about what a church is and should be, but I need that energy. Everything is very tasteful, and not overdone or ‘rock concerty’ at all.
FCF Church had me at hello and in tears just from the opening music alone, and we hadn’t even gotten to the sermon yet.
The Sermon That Changed My Life
I don’t know how to explain how it is that I went to church for the first time in 25 years in such a deep state of distress about life and the world and everything that we’ve been facing, and wondering how such evil and wickedness could possibly even be allowed to the point that I’d had suicidal thoughts, and have that be the exact topic of the sermon.
I don’t think it’s possible for me to overstate how powerful FCF’s founder and lead Pastor Randy Goldenberg’s sermon was for me that day. This was the second of Pastor Randy’s sermons on “Earthquake Shakings” titled “What Are God’s Methods,” in which he discusses life changing events that we might face, while pulling various parts of scripture together that reference earthquakes.
The sermon centered around the Old Testament story of the prophet Elijah fleeing from Jezebel, and running hundreds of miles into the wilderness in 1 Kings 18-19. I had actually just read this passage and thought it interesting, but couldn’t bring it to life to truly comprehend it like Pastor Randy was about to. In the passage, Elijah had just killed all 450 of the Baal worshippers after a fiery display from the Lord. Thinking that such a display would turn Jezebel back to the Lord, instead she was more emboldened than ever in worshipping Baal, and vowed to kill Elijah the very next day. Fearing for his life, Elijah fled hundreds of miles into the wilderness.
The two key verses of the sermon were the following.
1 Kings 19:4
[4] But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” (ESV)1 Kings 19:11–12
[11] And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. [12] And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. (ESV)
What 1 Kings 19:4 illustrates is that even the prophet Elijah, with all of the power and influence that he was given, became so discouraged and depressed that he ran hundreds of miles in fear and wished for his life to end. Pastor Randy was very delicate in approaching the topic of someone being suicidal, and was aware that there could be someone in the congregation that had recently been in such a state. As it turns out that caution was well justified, as someone approached Randy after the first service which I attended, who apparently shared something private with Randy to that effect. Randy alluded to this in the second service, but there were more that day. I too had been in that state once again, even if just briefly.
The core point of the sermon was that God is not about massive displays of power. Many Christians and non-Christians alike all wonder why if God is all knowing and powerful, then how could He possibly allow such evil and wickedness in our world and just put a stop to it? As Randy explained, God knows that the human heart cannot be penetrated through fear, force, and bribery. God is trying to get Elijah to understand what God’s methods are to pull him out of this suicidal depression. God is about reaching into human hearts that can be reached, and not about forcing people to conform.
God was not in the wind that was so powerful that it was ripping mountains apart. He was not in the earthquake that was tearing the earth. Nor was he in the fire. He was the whisper in Elijah’s ear, teaching Elijah and all of us that God is often in the background working quietly, even when it’s not understood.
As Randy continued, he explained that this is an evil time that we live in, which started in heaven in eternity past, when Lucifer descended out of heaven and took a third of the angels in heaven with him. Evil was present in the garden of Eden when Eve was deceived. It was present when Jesus was nailed to a cross and killed. Paul served the Lord faithfully for 32 years, and was imprisoned, beaten, tortured, even shipwrecked, and eventually beheaded. Pastor Randy asked, is that not evil? And evil is just as present today, as it has always been, that so many of us see and are distressed by.
Randy explained repeatedly that evil is being allowed for a little while, until it’s abolished forever when Jesus returns in Revelation, and the new heaven and new earth are created free of evil. His methodology is not to intervene now and stop evil.
Acts 17:31
[31] because he has fixed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by a man whom he has appointed; and of this he has given assurance to all by raising him from the dead.” (ESV)
There’s a fixed day in which the Lord will return and judge this world. As Randy continued, when that day comes, evil will be destroyed for a thousand years in Revelation 20. Evil will then be allowed again briefly, before being destroyed forever in the new heaven and new earth in Revelation 21 and 22. As Randy put it, God is building skyscrapers and not sand castles, and that takes a little longer. God is building his eternal family, and wants those that will seek Him and stay close to Him, so close that He can whisper to us.
“Godpilled” And Reborn
FCF Church founder and lead Pastor, Randy Goldenberg
As Pastor Randy concluded and went to prayer, I was awestruck at how everything made complete sense, and in that moment I felt the peace in my soul that I had longed to feel for so long in the midst of this fallen world that we’ve found ourselves in.
I highly encourage you to listen to the full sermon linked above, as my brief summation here cannot possibly replace the full extent of Randy’s incredible hour long message.
Randy stated in the second service of the day that he felt like something was happening that day, and that he’d felt it in both services. Perhaps I was a part of that energy, and that it was God’s “whisper” to me that brought me into church that day for the first time. God clearly meant for me to hear this sermon, by this Pastor, in this church, and on that day, because it completely transformed me. The whole experience from start to finish spoke directly to what was in my soul. There’s no other possible explanation to me than the hand of God at work. Surely I was reborn on that day, and exited church for the first time in 25 years a changed man and a born again believer in Christ.
I didn’t think that Jesus was the answer or that His word had anything to offer me, when everything that I’ve ever wondered about or struggled with is explained in the Bible and His word. I didn’t think the church had anything to offer me, when in fact its offered me the connection to God and His followers that are my brothers and family that I’ve always needed, but have been without for all of my adult life. I didn’t think it was possible for a Pastor to interpret the word and pull so many parts of scripture together and bring them to life in such a relatable way, and completely relevant to the times, to help us all pull through this evil age of spiritual warfare that we’ve found ourselves in. Pastor Randy has had me in tears multiple times through his sermons in the short time that I’ve been attending FCF Church now, as though he knew every bit of my pain and so much of what I’d been feeling personally, while also teaching us how to patiently endure and overcome it all, while still living a Godly life.
The short and monotonous 15 minutes sermons in the Catholic church that I attended as a child never worked for me. Pastor Randy’s sermons are almost always over 50 minutes, and many are unforgettable with the way he brings so much Godly wisdom to life from the word, and the knack he has for approaching and talking about extremely difficult topics. Pastor Randy is truly blessed by God to bring the word alive into our hearts and souls like he can, and I always feel like I could keep listening all day.
I had never even heard of Pastor Randy before that day, but the man has my number. I didn’t think that was possible for anybody, let alone a priest that I hadn’t known previously. His sermon that day was exactly what I needed to hear, and exactly when I needed to hear it. It rescued me from something awful, and surely I was transformed and reborn on that day.
It’s Never Too Late To Find God and the Church
Photo Credit: Pete Gillott / Kaché Woods, FCF Church at the FCF Men’s Breakfast, Saturday February 26th. You can find me center left kneeling in the front row.
Whether you’re a current or former “lost sheep” Christian like myself or even a non-Christian, it’s never too late to find God and to return to the church after many years, or even for the first time. Never for a moment should you doubt how big and profound a difference the right church, the right congregation, the right Pastor, and complete trust and faith in our Lord and savior Jesus Christ can make in your life. I’m living proof of that right now as a changed man, and now in the midst of the greatest of transformation in my lifetime.
If you’re feeling lost or hopeless in this fallen world as I had been, I could not encourage you more strongly to seek God and the church. Yes, there are unfortunately bad and woke “churches of the world” out there that you’ll want to avoid, that have been subverted and don’t actually preach the word of God. I can assure you, FCF Church is absolutely not such a church. We’re blessed that Pastor Randy has the courage to speak the hard Biblical truths, and to speak out forcefully against the contentious issues of our time. You might have to church shop a bit, or possibly even drive out of your area as I do. Ask around and ask friends that you trust, but don’t give up hope. It’s worth the effort to find a good church not just to receive the word and the spiritual backing and empowerment that we all need in this demonic world that we live in, but to find and build fellowship with other like minded and God fearing Christians.
If you don’t even know where to begin, by all means tune into FCF Church’s livestreams to get started which have very high production quality, or attend if you’re in the area. But half the purpose of the church is to build Christian fellowship, and so I highly encourage you to find an excellent local church.
If you’re within an hour of Frederick, MD (it’s worth it), click the button below to get in touch.
I felt absolutely hopeless in finding a good church living where I do, in the next county south and a bit too close to the swamp. I’ve felt so alienated for years in my area, like a sojourner living in a strange land, but as it turns out I didn’t have to look for a church at all. God led me straight to where I needed to be at FCF Church, and I feel very blessed and fortunate to have found exactly what I needed, exactly when I needed it, and the hand of God that I felt working quietly throughout, exactly like the whispering described in Randy’s sermon.
Correcting My Biggest Mistake In Life
Pastor Randy shared this verse in the closing of his sermon that day, which also spoke volumes to me.
Isaiah 48:17–18
[17] Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the LORD your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you in the way you should go. [18] Oh that you had paid attention to my commandments! Then your peace would have been like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea; (ESV)
God knows what’s best for all of us. He is the light and the way and has a plan for all, and that couldn’t be more clear to me now. I deeply regret ever leaving the church, and having been away for 25 years. It was a terrible mistake, and now one of my few regrets in life. There’s so much I’ve missed, and so many things in life that would have been so much easier to bear had I never left, or sought Jesus and the church so much sooner.
But it’s never too late to put your faith in Christ. This was the day I put my full faith in Christ, and that He won my trust. The more I learn to lean on God and the word, the more my worries of the world dissipate, just as had been shown to me so many times in the past. All of my anxiety and depression has been fading because now I know the end of this story, and that He has already won.
It’s my hope that hearing my testimony might help others find their own faith and trust in Christ as well, and the inner peace it will bring.
You can be saved too.
And after all that, my cancer scan turned out fine, just like I was told it would be. What I’d felt was a lymphocele that had formed, which is actually very easily explained given my complicated medical history, and not a cause for concern. Praise God!
The full livestream from the November 14th 2nd service at FCF Church. I attended the first, but Pastor Randy had some interesting additional comments in this one.
Special Thanks
I wanted to take a moment to thank all of my friends that led me back to Christ.
To Gab.com Founder and CEO, Andrew Torba for your bold and unapologetically Christian leadership, which planted the seed when I joined the Gab platform back in 2018. Weak men create hard times. Torba is tip of the spear among the new generation of strong Christian men that will help lead us back to good times. And can you name another tech CEO that reposts and offers words of encouragement to people like myself going back to church for the first time? Thank you.
To my friend Neil Sederburg, for our campsite fireside chats throughout 2021, for being such a strong witness to Christ for me, and for the beautiful set of Bibles he gifted me which further inspired me to read the word. I could not have asked for a better friend or a more beautiful gift in such a dark time. I will never forget this gesture and will cherish these gifts forever.
To my friend Steve Barr, fellow engineer and photographer friend, for our friendship and the church invites over the years, and for always thinking of me.
To my friend Claudia Ritchey, someone who recognized who and what I was and what I needed long before I did, and that I would have trusted my life to. If only I had listened and found FCF Church nearly 10 years earlier when you had invited me, so many things I had been facing in life would have been so much easier. God has a plan for everyone!
To Pastor Pete Gillott, for being so approachable and taking the time to speak with me about my return to church after so long, about FCF, and for your prayer that God might work through me on this project to help other lost souls and lost Christians such as myself find their way back to church and the Lord. It’s not possible for Pastors to know everyone in their churches, especially larger congregations like FCF, but I appreciate you getting to know me and making the effort. Mission Complete, but also just the beginning!
Lastly, to everyone who makes FCF Church happen, from founder and lead Pastor Randy Goldenberg, Pastor Kim Kesecker, Pastor Pete all of whose sermons are excellent. To Matt Hull who leads the men’s message group that I’ve been attending, and to so many others that run many other church groups, down to every volunteer, staff, the production team, and especially the FCF band, thank you. God is truly in this house, and I’ve felt so welcomed and loved here. It‘s a great blessing to finally be a part of a church, and to have a church family for the first time in my life. This is what I’ve always needed.
10 Mental Health Tips for the COVID-19 Pandemic
Nine years ago this month, I had just finished 4 brutal rounds of chemotherapy fighting testicular cancer, and was on deck for a highly invasive surgery the next month in June. You might be surprised to learn that this was all the “easy” part of my cancer fight. What was hard was overcoming all of the mental health issues that many cancer survivors experience in the aftermath, such as anxiety, depression, and even PTSD symptoms. Learning to overcome all of this at a younger age has perhaps left me better prepared for other challenges in life, including the COVID-19 pandemic, so here are some mental health pointers for Mental Health Awareness Month.
Nine years ago this month, I had just finished 4 brutal rounds of chemotherapy fighting testicular cancer, and was on deck for a highly invasive surgery the next month in June. You might be surprised to learn that this was all the “easy” part of my cancer fight. What was hard was overcoming all of the mental health issues that many cancer survivors experience in the aftermath, such as anxiety, depression, and even PTSD symptoms. Learning to overcome all of this at a younger age has perhaps left me better prepared for other challenges in life, including the COVID-19 pandemic, so here are some mental health pointers for Mental Health Awareness Month.
The first step in overcoming a painful situation is acceptance. Just like my cancer diagnosis so long ago, there’s no sense in asking how or why it was all happening. “These things can happen” is as good of an answer as one is ever going to get. Years ago it was cancer. This year it’s a global pandemic. Okay then…
Next, accept whatever it is that you’re feeling inside. “It’s okay to not be okay.” This is a painful situation for many, especially for those that may have lost someone. Be your own best friend and advocate, and allow whatever it is that you’re feeling to process, without beating yourself up for it. Never be ashamed of what you feel. We’re all human and feel so many of the same things inside.
Just turn off the news, or if you must, stick with your local news once per day as a maximum. Local news tends to be more grounded and relevant for situations like these, far less sensationalized, and thus better for one’s mental health and managing your local situation.
Be present in your lives. Don’t allow yourself to be haunted by what happened yesterday, nor worry about what might not ever happen tomorrow. Focus on the here and now, and do your best to make today as productive and enjoyable as you can. Deal with tomorrow when it comes.
Do something that will put a smile on your face every day. This is a year to truly appreciate the little things and small moments in life. We might not be able to go everywhere, nor do everything we want this year, but it doesn’t mean we can’t find other ways to enjoy our lives, and often they’re right under our noses. This won’t just uplift yourself, but others around you as well.
Get some fresh air and exercise at least once per day. Go for a walk, a run, or a bike ride, and keep your body moving. Fresh air, the wind on your face, and a change of scenery will all work wonders not just physically, but mentally as well.
Keeping busy with healthy and productive hobbies and outlets are important. Especially during my earlier years after cancer, an idle mind was an extremely dangerous thing in that it allowed all of the anxieties and worries to creep back in. I continue to enjoy my photography hobby, long bike rides with my kids, more time with my family, my backyard fire pit, doing a little writing, and a road trip here and there when we can manage one. I don’t give myself time to worry, and no amount of worrying about cancer ever truly helped my situation. Worrying just made me miserable in the present, and it’s no different for COVID-19.
Socially distance yourselves from toxic people as well. There are some people, especially on social media, who just can’t help but go on and on about how awful everything is. Our attitudes and beliefs are self-fulfilling prophecies in many ways, and so these negative thoughts are often reflections of what’s inside of these individuals. Choose to believe positive things, and surround yourselves with more positive people, and distance yourselves from those that are less than that. You deserve better.
Take some time off when you need it. It’s not a good thing that we’ve all been stressed out and worried, while also working ourselves into the ground in remote or home “office” setups that are often far less than ideal, and unable to take the vacations that many of us had planned. Take some time off anyway. We all need mental breaks and some down time to avoid mental burnout, and you can do that no matter where you are physically.
Breathe. There are all sorts of numbers out there, but the bottom line is this. While the coronavirus is definitely much worse than the common flu, the vast majority of people are not going to get it, and the vast majority of those who do are going to be fine in the end, especially if you’re aged 60 or under and have no chronic underlying health conditions. Be smart, follow the latest guidelines, live a healthy lifestyle, and believe and have faith that things will all work out in the end.
Best,
Steve Pake
First Look at the 2021 Chevy Suburban and Tahoe from a Recent Owner
Steve plays auto journo and offers his thoughts on the latest sheetmetal out of Detroit with the newly announced 2021 Chevy Suburban and Tahoe, as a recent first-time 2018 Suburban owner.
Thoughts On The New Metal From A RECENT Suburban Owner
As a recent first-time domestic vehicle owner, first-time truck owner, and first-time Chevy owner with my 2018 Suburban, I was keenly interested in the new 2021 Chevy Suburban and Tahoe, and what changes and improvements they might make. It’s funny how I’m digesting all of the facts and figures about these trucks, but couldn’t tell you the first thing about the latest BMW 3-series or ///M cars. My, how times have changed, but that’s a story for another day.
I have to say that I’m pretty impressed with the new full-sized SUVs from GM, and that there’s a lot to like. You can read from my previous two blogs about my 2018 Suburban, which I’ve found to be an overall very well thought out and engineered vehicle. The 2021 Suburban and Tahoe will be even better.
CHEVY SUBURBAN LYFE - ONE YEAR REVIEW - November 15, 2019
FULL REVIEW: HOW THE HELL DO YOU GO FROM DRIVING A BMW 335I TO A 2018 CHEVY SUBURBAN - February 2, 2019
Big Gets Bigger
The Tahoe is now a Suburban Lite
Both the Suburban and the smaller Tahoe have grown in size, but the biggest difference is actually with the Tahoe, which has seen a substantial lengthening of 6.7 inches, and a wheelbase stretch of 4.9 inches. 2nd row legroom improves by 3 inches to 42.0 inches, and 3rd row legroom is improved by a whopping 10.1 inches to 34.9 in, finally giving the Tahoe a 3rd row of seating that’s fully usable by most adults. But wait, there’s more. The rear cargo area behind the 3rd row of seats is also hugely improved from a skimpy 15.3 to a generous 25.5 cubic-feet. Maximum cargo area (with all seats folded) is also improved from 94.7 cubic feet to 122.9, giving the new Tahoe as much total cargo area as the outgoing Suburban! This is thanks mostly to a cargo floor that appears to be around 6 inches lower than before, but is also due to the additional length. The new Hoe almost really is a Suburban-lite, and is now also a more proper big brother to the Traverse large crossover SUV, with more space, more capability, and more performance.
If Only THe Suburban Were a Bit bigger…
The Suburban really can’t get much bigger, or else it will start to reach a size where even the better than average drivers who buy them won’t want to deal with them anymore, so fortunately the biggest changes are inside of the Suburban and not with its exterior dimensions. The Suburban picks up a gargantuan 23 cubic-feet of additional total cargo space, up to 144.7 cubic-feet from 121.7, due to the same lowered cargo floor as the new Tahoe. This will make loading bulky cargo into the Burban a good bit easier than before, which has been one of my few complaints with my 2018 Suburban.
Other than that, dimensional changes to the Burban are minor. It stretches in overall length just 1.3 inches, and gets a wheelbase stretch of 4.1 inches. Inside, the 2nd and 3rd rows of seating each get about 2 inches of additional legroom, and the rear cargo area behind the 3rd row of seats gains about 2 cubic feet of space, thanks mostly to the lower cargo floor.
I’m not going to say that any of the Burb’s increase in size is going to fundamentally change its maneuverability, but that one Trader Joe’s parking lot that has already tended to be a skin of your teeth affair with my 2018 Burb, might finally be out with the new one. It’s amazing how maneuverable the big Burban is in tight parking lots, but I really hope that GM engineers have somehow been able to keep the turning circle in check!
Updated and Entirely New Powertrains
You can still get V-8 Engines!
Praise the Lord that GM stuck to their senses and kept their excellent small-block V8 engines in the lineup that just keep getting better and better. The 355hp 5.3L and 420hp 6.2L V8 engines are back with the same outputs as before, and with the same updates as on the Silverado pickup line. The biggest difference is that the new engines have a dozen or so different cylinder deactivation modes versus just V-8 or V-4 on the outgoing engines. Hallelujah for no peaky DOHC V6 engines (GM’s 3.6L is actually pretty good), and heaven forbid not their turbocharged 2.7L 4-cylinder.
The GM-Ford jointly developed 10-speed automatic is now standard across the board, so the solid but basic GM Hydramatic 6-speed 6L80E is gone, as is the clunky 8-speed 8L90E that never seemed to work as it should. It’s also been reported that a 3.23 axle ratio will be the sole available rear-end ratio. This might be somewhat disappointing for those that hoped to get the 3.42 axle ratio with the 5.3L V8, which had been a really nice combination when opting for the Max Towing package. Hopefully the additional cogs in the 10-speed automatic will even things out.
A Duramax 3.0L Inline-6 Turbodiesel
The biggest news of all with the new trucks is the addition of a segment first diesel option, in the form of GM’s new 3.0L Inline-6 Duramax engine, with 277 hp and 460 ft-lbs of torque. I’ve been saying that these full-sized SUVs have been screaming for a diesel engine for ages, and now they finally have one.
My wife and I both loved our 2012 BMW E70 X5d, which also had a 3.0L Inline-6 turbodiesel engine with a bit lower output. All of the torque provided very zippy performance around town, and it easily achieved 26-28 mpg highway on long trips. With my current Suburban managing around 23-24 mpg on the highway with its 5.3L V8 and 6-speed automatic, I have no doubt that the new Suburban and Tahoe ought to be able to achieve 25-26 mpg highway if not a tad more depending on configuration, and probably 16-17 mpg city with the new Duramax. These would be pretty significant improvements for such large vehicles.
Thoughts from a former 3.0L Turbodiesel Inline-6 SUV Onwer
Since I’ve actually owned an SUV with a turbodiesel Inline-6 engine, here are some thoughts on what to expect from the Duramax Hoe and Burban.
Our diesel X5 had a curb weight of 5200 lbs and had 265 hp and 425 ft-lbs of torque. Considering the regular gasser X5 had 300 hp and 300 torques at the time, losing 35 hp but gaining over a hundred torques was a bit of a no-brainer. For the most part, you could just fling yourself around with that massive wall of torque. It felt pretty zippy and even light on its feet for most local driving, but definitely lacked top-end passing power when you really needed it — think country two-lane passing maneuvers.
I expect that the newly stretched Tahoe is going to come in at around 5800 lbs equipped considering its increase in size, and that the Suburban will probably be just as heavy as before also. Not one word of GM’s press release said anything about weight, weight reduction, or weight savings, so I think whatever platform weight savings there might have been in going from the K2xx to the T1xx platform has likely been gobbled up in the vehicles themselves being larger, especially with the Tahoe, and from all of the content that’s been added. While I considered the wheezy 265hp top-end of our diesel X5 to be just barely enough when you really needed maximum horsepower, these GM SUVs are going to be quite a bit heavier for only 12 additional ponies to be handling.
I think the Duramax will make for an excellent pairing with the lighter Tahoe, especially if 2WD, but if you’re talking about a fully loaded 6000 or more pound 4WD Suburban loaded to the max with people and gear, I expect that the Duramax is going to come up a bit short. Going from 355hp with the base 5.3L gasser V-8 to only 277 hp with the Duramax diesel is a lot of power to lose in such a large vehicle — we’re talking barely any more highway passing power than a Toyota Yaris, and probably getting smoked by a base Corolla. You can do the math yourself (peak horsepower per ton of vehicle is a useful metric), and the results aren’t pretty.
Yes, all of “dat torq” is great most of the time, but peak horsepower still matters when you need it, and these Duramax SUVs are definitely going to leave a lot to be desired here. So unless you absolutely don’t care at all about tricky highway merges, passing performance, or “get yourself out of trouble power”, most will probably be better served by the standard and updated 5.3L V8. Regular fuel does tend to be a bit cheaper than diesel as well. I’m sure some performance chips will be available for the Duramax practically as soon as the vehicles themselves are on the lots to rectify the issue, but that also involves tossing warranties out the windows of brand new $50-80k SUVs.
What these full-sized SUVs really needed was that baby 4.5L Duramax V8 that GM never made. Its 310hp and 510 ft-lbs of torque would have made it just about perfect for these 5600-6000 lb SUVs, but I’m happy to have the any Duramax as an option. The diesel they have to offer at a reasonable cost (around $2500 in the Silverado pickup line) is better than no diesel at all. While the engine’s power might be better suited to the lighter Silverado pickup trucks, I’m glad that GM product managers didn’t try to put the 310 hp turbocharged 4-cylinder engine in these beasts, which would have been sacrilege, and have gotten very mixed to negative reviews. Just no to that.
It’ll be interesting to see what the take rate is with the Duramax in these full-sizers, and I look forward to reading about them and possibly sampling one in a Tahoe myself.
ALl The Other new Stuff
Independent Rear Suspension
The “antiquated low-tech donkey cart live-axle rear suspension” is finally gone. GM and auto journos will hype the improved ride quality and how much better it is, but the truth is that there hasn’t been even a single ride quality complaint from any family member in my 2018 Suburban. The ride is definitely a bit jittery when empty when they’re not in the truck, but that tends to be the case with heavier truck suspensions that are designed to haul things. The 22” wheels don’t help anything either, but neither of those two have anything to do with the live-axle rear end. GM has stuck with the live-axle for so long because it’s simple, effective, and also very rugged, and because they’ve actually managed to make them ride pretty well. GM didn’t come to dominate the full-size SUV market because nobody could stand the ride.
I can think of exactly one time in a year and 15,000 miles of driving my 2018 Suburban where I managed to run over a bump that upset the rear-end in a way that an independent suspension would have handled better. I do live in an area where the roads are relatively well maintained, so take that for what it’s worth. I’m more about the big picture and what will get the job done, and less about which specific ingredients are involved to make it happen. Claims about improved ride and handling when I don’t have any real complaints about ride and handling relating to the live-axle doesn’t sell me.
What does sell me is below.
Massively Lower Load Floor
The biggest thing the independent rear suspension will do for buyers of these trucks is lower the load floor to make loading bulky cargo a bit easier, because of the space that’s cleared out in the floor plan of the vehicle. Depending on how exactly you calculate it, the outgoing Suburban has about 40-45 square-feet of cargo floor. Without any significant change in length or width, GM is claiming that the new Suburban has gained 23 cubic-feet of cargo space. To gain that much additional cargo space in a vehicle that’s not really any taller, wider, or longer, means the new load floor is about 6 or so inches lower than the old. Indeed, this is about what it looks like from these comparison photos with my own Suburban on the left, and the new Suburban on the right. You can see that the load floor of the outgoing Burban falls at about the middle of the seat back, whereas it’s down at seat cushion level with the new one. That’s a huge difference, and will make loading bulky items a whole lot easier than before.
I couldn’t line up the angle exactly, but pay close attention to where the seat backs of the 2nd row lands against the front seats, and especially the arm rests of the second row. The new load floor is much lower! That’s my 2018 Suburban on the left, and the new 2021 on the right.
Here’s another view of the Tahoe at a slight angle.
I’m guessing that the vertical opening of the rear hatch is now tall enough, and the load floor short enough, that maybe you don’t have to take the legs of couches off before stuffing them inside. Then again, furniture legs will snag on and scrape up various interior pieces anyway, so you’d still probably want to take them off. We’ve now had more than a few couches in the back of our Suburban, and they’ve all fit one way or another, even without a lower load floor. I think furniture designers take these dimensions in mind when designing their furniture. “Has to fit inside a Chevy Suburban.” Check. Lol
Lights, Cameras, Action, and Screens Galore
There’s now a zillion different camera angles and “Surround HD vision” or whatever they’re calling it for parking [HD Suround Vision, I was close]. There’s more displays in the interior, and they’re bigger, the HUD is fancier and has more colors, and blah, blah, blah. I’m personally not a fan of the “iPad stuck into the dashboard look”, but it’s just how they’re doing things these days. This stuff doesn’t really sell me. I just drive.
On the outgoing SUVs, the rear backup camera and auto tilt-down on both side view mirrors while using your “Mark I Eyeballs” gives you 270 degree coverage to the sides and rear while parking, which I’ve found more than good enough for me, and then there’s front parking sensors which help also. I specifically didn’t opt for any of the interior entertainment options in my own Suburban not just because it kills head space, but because both of my kids are more than happy to keep their eyes glued to their iPads all day long if we let them.
Call me weird, but as an Electrical Engineer I already spend my days fiddling with electronics that don’t work, and strongly prefer to just drive when I’m in vehicle and not be fiddling with screens and electronic doo-dads. And as a former BMW driver, I’ll say that BMW killed my enthusiasm for many of their cars by making them overly electronic and fake feeling, isolating drivers that know the difference from the glorious mechanical engineering that resides underneath! Why pay premium money for a BMW when they don’t feel any better to drive than a Toyota? I realize I’m getting off on a tangent, but you feel more “connected” to the vehicle and road driving my 2018 Suburban than you do with most BMW’s these days, which is really sad! I hope that these new SUVs maintain that level of feel and the confidence that it gives you, and that they don’t become ‘electronically white-washed’ like so many other vehicles have been!
Moving on… /tangent /rant
Air Suspension
The new trucks will now have an optional and adjustable air suspension on higher level models that can raise and lower the ride height through a total range of 4 inches. This will let the trucks squat while on the highway for better aerodynamics, and allow them to rise up if additional clearance is needed for off-roading or snow. On the existing trucks, you get a rear self-leveling air suspension with the Max Towing package, but not a 4-corner air suspension that adjusts ride height. Existing Suburbans and Tahoes just have a fixed ride height and a big chin spoiler to direct the airflow away from the wheels and undercarriage.
The trick air suspension will probably be more useful in the Tahoe, where you can still do a bit of off-roading especially with the Z71 package. Air suspension or not, the Suburban is still going to get owned by its terrible break-over angle limitations because of the huge wheelbase, so the air suspension is more for convenience and tweaking a few tenths of a mile per gallon out of it. I’m not sure that it’s worth the added expense and complexity, but then again you already get a rear self-leveling air suspension in Max Towing equipped vehicles on the outgoing SUVs, so perhaps it’s not that big of a deal to have it at all four corners.
Electronic Shift Buttons
The totally old school steering column mounted shifter is finally gone, having been replaced with a push button arrangement on the dashboard. The steering column shifter never bothered me, but I know it irked plenty and gave them flashbacks to the bad old days of GM, so I say good riddance.
Unlike a lot of these push-button or rotary shifter arrangements, it seems as though GM has put some solid human factors engineering efforts into this with what appears to be an anchor point for your middle finger such that your hand doesn’t slip, and so that you don’t confuse buttons while maneuvering. It looks like you can anchor your hand with your middle finger, and then use your pointer finger to hit Reverse or Park, and then probably your Thumb to punch it into Drive. It seems like it should work pretty well, and it looks a whole lot better than some competitors new shifter arrangements that look like they’d either be an awkward reach, or would easily be confused.
Sliding Second Row Seats
The second row seats will now slide fore and aft through a range of 10 inches, which is definitely handy and allows for a bit more flexible passenger space. The fixed second and third row seating positions on the outgoing Suburban have seemed just about right for my family, although the third row seats definitely aren’t for larger adults. 6-footers will fit back there so long as they’re thinner framed people, and not giant 6’3” 260-pounders like myself. With the sliding second row seats, now larger people will be able to sit in the third row if needed.
Verdict: NEW OR OLD?
So what’s the verdict? Should you or I buy one or upgrade?
New
Old
The New Burban
If you’re in the market for a Suburban, the new one will be the best one yet for sure, but you could also get a screaming good deal on the outgoing 2020 that’s long had all of the bugs worked out through the middle of the year, and before the 2021’s are hitting the lots. Tough call. I guess if you’re planning on moving a lot of bulky furniture around and really need the lower load floor, or if you’re hung up on fuel economy and are open to a diesel (and don’t care about performance so much), those would be the two biggest reasons to wait around for the 2021’s. It’s not like the outgoing Suburban lack space in any way (lol!) I imagine that for-hire service folks would probably do pretty well with Duramax Suburbans also. Imagine getting in excess of 700 miles per tank of fuel. Otherwise, the outgoing 2020’s are still awesome trucks that you’ll be able to get great deals on.
My family and I love our 2018 Suburban, and we’ll probably stick with that. This was always planned to be a buy it and then drive it into the ground for 10+ years type of vehicle for us, and we’re not fundamentally displeased with it in any way to warrant a trade, nor are we hung up on not having the latest metal. In fact, our expectations have been more than exceeded in almost every area with our existing Suburban, so we’re happy to keep plowing ahead.
The New Hoe
If you need three rows of seating from time to time or even all the time, clearly wait for the 2021 Tahoe, as it has so much more space in the 3rd row, and a much improved cargo area. And unlike the Suburban, I think the new Tahoe will be just light enough to make for a pretty nice pairing with the Duramax diesel. You’ll have a far more versatile truck than before that can also get much better fuel economy, while still having a reasonable level of performance. If 3rd row seating isn’t a factor for you, it might be worth it to get a great deal on the outgoing 2020 models.
If I were to make any move at all, I might try to see if I could downsize a tad to the new Tahoe, and just hook up a hitch mounted locking cargo box to the rear for those summer road trips. That would leave me with a smaller, more manageable, and more efficient vehicle the rest of the time, although I have to say, once you have a nearly 9-foot long cargo area to haul stuff and shove couches into, it’s tough to want to give that up! Suburbans are definitely handy in ways that Tahoe’s aren’t!
For the needs of my own family, the large crossover Chevy Traverse was a bit too small. The Suburban has been amazing, but definitely leans more towards the overkill side of things. The new 2021 Tahoe could finally be the “just right” for our needs, even if it won’t swallow couches whole.
Steve’s Final “First Look” Word For now
I think Chevy knocked it out of the park with the new SUVs. Given these are GM’s prime money makers, they have to get these trucks right especially in the face of emerging competition, and I definitely feel that they’ve done that. The Suburban has seen very nice and meaningful improvements to it, and the not-that-much-shorter-anymore Tahoe now makes a much stronger case for itself than it did before. The underpinnings for success are all there, and I have no doubt that both of these new Chevy’s and their more upmarket GMC and Cadillac versions will be very impressive also, once they’re announced. (Spy Photos: The new Escalade looks fantastic!) Whether you want to wait for the latest, or if you want to get a screaming good deal on the outgoing models, I think you’ll be getting top notch products either way.
All photos credit GM in this blog.
GM’s Press Release
CHEVROLET INTRODUCES ALL-NEW 2021 TAHOE AND SUBURBAN: https://media.chevrolet.com/media/us/en/chevrolet/suburban-tahoe.detail.html/content/Pages/news/us/en/2019/dec/1210-tahoe-suburban.html
See the 2021 Chevy Suburban & Tahoe Announcement Site here: https://media.chevrolet.com/media/us/en/chevrolet/suburban-tahoe.html
Chevy Suburban Lyfe - One Year Review
Here’s an in-depth review of our Chevy Suburban at one year and just short of 15,000 miles. We love this thing!
It’s hard to believe it, but we’ve already had our 2018 Chevy Suburban for a year, so I figured I’d give it a one year review blog. TL;DR — we love it!
RELATED: FULL REVIEW: HOW THE HELL DO YOU GO FROM DRIVING A BMW 335I TO A 2018 CHEVY SUBURBAN
The Good Stuff
It Drives Awesome
Everything is subjective, but I really like how the Suburban drives, which is strangely very BMW like! If BMW ever wanted to make a super-sized North American only market SUV called the “X9” while partnering with either GM or Ford, the Suburban would be a great starting place. The Suburban already has a 50/50 weight distribution which is where its balanced feel comes from, it already feels smaller to drive than it is, the Magnetic Ride Control suspension is amazing and is already used in very high-end and even exotic cars, and the steering is already on-point with a great feel and weighting that gives you a lot of confidence while driving, unlike a lot of the newer BMWs! Just add in the BMW twin-turbo V8 mill, the world standard ZF8HP automatic transmission, and the independent rear suspension coming on the next-gen SUVs, and you’re pretty much there as far as the overall drive goes.
It was sad to leave the BMW brand and that the X7 just wasn’t what we needed, but it hasn’t felt like I’ve needed to go all that far. That’s how good the Suburban is.
5.3L + 3.42 + Mag Ride = Sweetness
The standard 5.3L 355hp V8 with the optional 3.42 axle ratio in the Max Towing package is the sweet spot in the lineup that helps the truck feel lighter on its feet and more than able to keep up in traffic and then some, while saving you the expense of the bigger 6.2L V8 and technically being required to put premium fuel in. If you don’t care about 0-60 in 7ish seconds versus around 8 then feel free to skip, but my brain is hard-wired to be happy with any vehicle that can hit 60 mph around this range or better, and not once have I ever felt like it hasn’t been enough and that I should have sprung for the 6.2, even fully loaded.
It turns out that the shorter 3.42 axle ratio is greater than the 10% paper difference suggested versus the standard 3.08 gearing. They’re just short enough to have the engine ‘on-cam’ on the highway at 70 mph and in a significantly meatier part of the engine’s torque curve, whereas the 3.08 gears land just below that. Based on GM’s published power curve for the L83 engine, you have about 200hp available in top gear at 70 mph and 1750 rpm with the 3.42 gearing, versus only about 160hp available at the same speed with the 3.08 gearing and 1550rpm, a 25% difference! It’s hard to believe that only 200rpm more in cruise can make that much of a difference, but it does. That’s huge for going up highway grades while remaining in top gear, lets the engine better utilize the V-4 cylinder shutoff mode for better efficiency, and the shorter gearing is also more responsive around town and while pulling out of slower 2nd and 3rd gear corners. There’s literally no way to lose with the 3.42 gearing. They’re a win-win and a must-have option.
Combine the better responsiveness of the shorter optional gearing with the Magnetic Ride Control suspension on the LTZ/Premier trim trucks, and you really have a crisp handling and driving truck. I’ll stop short of saying that it feels “agile or “light on its feet”, but with the Mag Ride, there’s no nose diving during hard braking, and hardly any body roll in turns, all of which helps to keep my motion sickness prone family members from puking. If you’re not a former a—hole BMW driver that demands a vehicle actually turn well, and don’t have family members prone to motion sickness, you can probably save a big bundle of cash with an LT spec truck with the standard suspension.
The Ultimate Road Trip Machine
The Suburban is without a doubt the ultimate road trip machine. It’s supremely comfortable on the highway and rides great, you always have a commanding view of what’s going on, it has plenty of passing power when needed, and it’s super quiet with a physics defying lack of wind noise. It will get a no joke 23-24 mpg on straight highway runs, everybody has plenty of space in the cabin, our kids have never fought (hallelujah!) and we have all the room we need for whatever cargo we’ve needed to haul along with us. All of the windows from the 2nd row on back have very deep tints with excellent solar rejection, so there’s never any issues with the cabin becoming an oven, and the air-conditioning system is powerful and quiet. And last but not least, GM’s infotainment and navigation system works pretty darned good, and is easy to use. It’s just amazing.
We arrived in Virginia Beach early before we could check into our AirBnB, but no problem. We all just hung out in the lounge!
One of my favorite trips of the year, taking William all the way down to VIR (Virginia International Raceway) for Hyper Fest 2019!
Up in Shenandoah National Park over Memorial Day. We cruised the entire length of Skyline Drive from top to bottom.
On a Cub Scouts Camping trip with William.
On a week long trip to Virginia Beach this past summer with 5 humans plus a dog, we packed all of the luggage you’d need for said 5 humans for a week at the beach, plus two extra bags of bedding for the AirBnB rental, folding dog crate, folding dog fence, dog food, supplies, and toys, two boogie boards, folding 10x10 beach canopy, beach chairs, beach toys, camera bags, backpacks, folding “large wheel” beach wagon, and several bags of food. It all fit while only needing to fold down a single rear seat, leaving room for 6 passengers. We could have brought one more!
The photos below show the two-thirds side of the third row folded down just because it shows all of the stuff we brought better, but I actually figured out how to get all of this to fit with just the single right side seat folded.
I actually figured out how to get all of this to fit with just a single seat folded down in the 3rd row.
I’ve Never Been More Relaxed Driving
Nobody f—-ing “misses” a Suburban, and nobody in their right mind wants to f—- with one either, and I like that quite a bit at this point in my life.
As much as I loved blasting around in my beloved BMW 335i for years, I’m sad to say it got tiring driving the car. I could never relax driving it, not just because it’s a smaller car that nobody wanted to see especially with the top down, but because it was a target for all of people’s aggression. I literally could not go more than a day or two without some moron nearly running me off the road, either because they were Toyota driver style oblivious and just didn’t see the car, or deliberately because everybody wants to run a BMW 335i off the road if given the opportunity, “because BMW drivers are a—holes and deserve it”, right?
It’s been a bit more forgiving for my wife as a female 335i driver, but as a male 335i driver, you have to drive the car in a kill or be killed manner, or else. If we don’t drive “assertively”, people will go well out of their way to run us off the road, but we BMW drivers are the a—holes? I’m sorry but if you’re going well out of your way to run me off the road while I’m cruising along in my BMW, I’m not the a—hole, okay? Not once have I ever tried to intentionally run someone off the road, and I also use my turn signals properly every time, but yup, BMW drivers are the jerks. :)
I think that the human behavioral sciences folks could have a field day analyzing all of this, but at 42 I’ve long since grown out of the phase of life of wanting to compete or “race” or otherwise “play with” or do stupid things on the roadway around other cars. I’ve had 99 problems in my life already and just want to chill when I drive, and I can finally do that in the Suburban.
It Haulz Allz
This really needed to be its own section. The Suburban has enormous hauling capacity. There’s 39.3 cubic feet of cargo space with all three rows deployed, 76.7 cubic feet with the third row folded, and a whopping 121.7 cubic feet with second and third rows both folded. What’s more, there’s also an incredible 102 inches (8.5 feet) of bed length with second and third rows folded, which is longer than a long bed Chevy Silverado pickup truck at 98 inches, and way freaking longer than the “CCSB” (Crew Cab Short Bed) configurations that many truck owners are purchasing these days, at a mere 70 inches in length. You are limited somewhat by the high load floor of the Suburban, but other than that this thing is just a beast at hauling stuff.
The following is a sampling of what the Suburban has hauled for us just in the past year.
The Burb backed in unloading its latest ‘kill’ is a very common sighting at our house.
In addition to road tripping, the Suburban has hauled a few couches, leather chairs, ottomans, deck furniture pieces, and even bed frames. It’s also hauled several tons of replacement soil for landscaping repairs (not all at once), several tons of mulch (not all at once), a thousand pounds of landscaping stones for a new fire pit, and a 24’ extension ladder, in addition to hauling volumes of trash away from several home renovation projects, and so many other things that I’ve honestly lost track. If you routinely need to haul lots of cargo, but also need to routinely haul 5 or more people and a dog, sometimes at the same time, the Suburban is the perfect vehicle for you.
The Burb hauled this entire living room set, but not all at once, and from different locations. We’ve easily saved over a thousand dollars in delivery fees for furniture from various places just in the past year alone.
The Burb swallowed our new 70” TV and brought it home from Costco, no sweat.
It’s also really saved my —s for work by hauling this “erector set” around.
Bringing home a bunch of new deck furniture!
Hauling away a set of cabinets from our old kitchen. Our entire old kitchen cabinetry set was donated to the local Re-Store, which definitely took a few trips!
It also brought this 24-foot extension ladder home.
And a thousand pounds of landscaping stone for our new fire pit.
Our new fire pit is awesome, and actually put out enough heat to keep us warm!
Our Suburban’s biggest haul yet has been this Air Hockey table from Costco measuring 92” x 50” and weighing a freaking ton. It would not have laid flat without it sticking out of the bed in anything other than a long bed pickup truck, but the Suburban swallowed it whole, and its cargo area was exactly wide enough to accommodate the box.
Friends of ours lost a few trees on their property and now have a lifetime supply of firewood, and said to help ourselves! I had hoped to back the Burb down their property to the bottom of their hill where the big stacks of firewood are, but they weren’t actually there when we swung by and didn’t want to drive on their grass without asking first. Also, I’m not even sure if I could have made it.
And of course, a big load of firewood from some friends who lost a few trees and have basically an unlimited supply of firewood. There are three rows of firewood stacked in the back, and still room for two rows of passengers.
One thing the Suburban really can’t do is go off-road. The chin spoiler helps improve fuel mileage by about 1 mpg on the highway, but it totally kills the approach angle. The maximum break-over angle of a Suburban is also a big LOL. Just no. It’s funny, but as capable as the Suburban is, most crossover SUVs are more adept off-road simply because of better approach and break-over angles. I probably could have backed down their hill, but would have had to back up it also, to avoid the highly likely possibility of getting hung up on or ripping off the chin spoiler. Didn’t want to chance it, so we just three-person relayed all of this up the hill and into the back of the Suburban, and that counted as our workout for the day! :)
May 2020 Update
My son and I got new mountain bikes, so the Suburban’s latest trick is hauling all of our bikes around. I was dreading having to pickup a bike rack of some sort because of the expense, only to realize I didn’t even need to. Although there’s only three bikes in the back here (my wife doesn’t ride), it can no joke haul 4 bikes in the back with the 3rd row of seats folded down separated by furniture pads, and still has plenty of room for 4 people and a dog.
The Less Than Good
True grips are few and far between, but in the interest of full objectivity, here are a few.
Nitpicks
The enhanced 8” driver information display is gorgeous and even has accurate shadowing rendered for the digitally rendered quad analog gauges, but ends up wasting a lot of space and potential because GM largely just re-used the information screens from the lower-tier clusters without giving everything the proper reworking that it needed. A lot of screens could easily be combined, and there’s no single screen that shows everything you might want. This leads to a lot of pointless flipping and becomes somewhat of a distraction, and so is a bit of a let down.
The adaptive cruise works well, but is far too aggressive at trying to recover speed than it ever needs to be. Dude, it’s a Suburban — it’s okay if it takes a few seconds longer to get back to the set speed. GM probably has a one-size fits most type of calibration, but misses the mark here with totally unnecessary multi-gear kickdowns and a roaring engine just to get back to 75 mph from 65.
I’ve never really figured out the exterior lighting modes, and the manual is vague all around. By default they just stay on Auto and do their thing, but that’s not the problem. The issue is that the Auto lights tend to switch on pretty aggressively and especially in high contrast situations with a lot of glare. When it does this, it also dims the interior instrument and navigation lighting down to about nothing, which is precisely when you still need them to be at full brightness. They almost become unreadable, which is a major pain if you’re in the middle of using the navigation screen. Turning the exterior light control to off then kills all the exterior lights including the daytime running lights, which are precisely the lights you want left ON in high-contrast roadway lighting conditions. This also doesn’t reset the interior lighting back to normal daytime levels, and the interior lighting adjustment dial doesn’t have a notch to manually reset interior instrument lighting back to full brightness, as many cars do. This just doesn’t make any sense. Luckily this condition doesn’t last for more than about a minute when it happens, and often it’s less than that.
None of these are huge deals — just various annoyances and things that clearly weren’t thought through quite as well as they should have been. No car is perfect.
Nature Of the Beast Issues
The following could be genuine complaints, but because I did my homework before buying (for 2 years!) expectations were properly set and there were no surprises.
Expect about 12-14 mpg during local driving, but at least it only needs regular grade fuel. You don’t want to buy one of these trucks unless you know you’re going to need and use it.
Yes, the high load floor from the truck frame and live rear axle does inhibit the loading of some bulkier items compared to a minivan. It’s only been an issue for me once, but what I was loading was so oddly shaped that I’m not even sure it would have fit in a minivan, either. Keep a tool kit handy so that you can do partial tear downs of bulkier items before loading.
Body on frame trucks do have more or “different” vibrations over the road than the unibody cars and SUVs that many are used to. While this generation of “K2xx” GM trucks have been problematic here, it was really only an issue on 2015-2016 model year Suburbans, especially with 22” wheels. My 2018 definitely makes more noises than your typical unibody vehicle, but again no complaints from anyone, it’s just something that will take a little getting used to. It was nice and quiet on the highway except at 63 mph, and swapping out the factory Bridgestone tires for Michelins resolved what few issues there were. Definitely take any of these trucks for a thorough test drive before buying, especially up to full highway speed.
Lastly, since this is a truck based SUV, it also has a truck based 4WD system, which is much more rugged and capable than the AWD systems in many crossover SUVs. Leaving the 4WD system engaged on dry pavement can damage the drivetrain. It does have an Auto mode that you can use and leave on when there’s a mix of slippery and dry conditions, but it’s noisier and less efficient. The 4WD system is really intended to be left in 2WD mode in normal conditions. I know this is a big step for a lot of people, but you’ll actually need to be conscious and think about something while driving, and if perhaps you should be in one 4WD mode or the other. God help us all if you’re piloting a 6000 pound SUV, but aren’t really “there”.
See here: https://www.gmc.com/gmc-life/how-to/when-to-use-four-wheel-drive
Part of my job as an engineer is to find faults and deficiencies in new products before they find their ways to customers. Although I don’t work in the automotive industry, it’s actually a huge compliment if the biggest fault I can find in a truck with a $74,000 MSRP is wasted space and potential in an optional display, and some relatively minor human factors engineering grievances.
Believe me, I’ve had far bigger complaints in some other vehicles I’ve owned, including a Honda and a Toyota, neither of which I could stand to drive after a year because they were so freaking awful and poorly thought out in various ways. The Suburban is nothing of the sort, and is an overall very well engineered and thought out product.
Snow
On the topic of snow, we didn’t get a whole lot of snow in the D.C. area last year, but the one time we got a good couple of inches of snow, I took the Burb out at night when no one was really on the roads just to see how it handled. I put it in 4HI mode, which is only for “off pavement” or slippery conditions and NOT dry pavement ever, and it was a beast. The chin spoiler still gives you 8” of clearance, but pull that off and put a set of winter tires on, and these things are basically unstoppable.
A big part of the Suburban’s prowess in slippery conditions is from its G80 auto-locking rear differential, which gives it an incredible amount of traction even in 2WD mode. When roads are merely wet or slushy, you can leave it in 2WD mode and you’ll still have plenty of traction. (Click here for a cool video).
Everybody asks about two things — fuel mileage and parking — so I’ll address these in the next two sections below.
About Parking
Here’s the litmus test. If you already have a mid to large-sized SUV or a minivan, and you don’t have long scrapes down the side of it, you’re going to be just fine. If you do have long scrapes down the side of your vehicle, then maybe buying a nearly 20 foot long vehicle isn’t such a good idea, not just for your own sake, but for whomever or whatever you might end up hitting to cause more of those long scrapes!
If you don’t have long scrapes down the side of your vehicle, but maybe you’ve hopped a few curbs and scraped up wheels, pay close attention. You’ll need to make some adjustments, or else these minor things can and will escalate to the big long scrapes!
Believe me when I say that it’s just better, overall easier, and safer for all involved if you back this thing into a parking space most of the time.
Unless you’re going to need to load a significant amount of cargo into the rear, or the parking lot is big enough to make head in parking doable, like at Costco or many grocery stores, just back in. It’s better, easier, and safer for everyone.
You wouldn’t believe how sharply these things can turn. They’re far more maneuverable in crammed parking lots than you’d think possible. That said, they are still nearly 20 feet long, so here’s what to expect.
Head-In Parking is usually a 3-point maneuver
Pulling head into a parking space is easy when the outside parking space isn’t occupied. You can just let the nose of the truck swing wide through the outside space, and then you can pull straight in. As tight as the Suburban turns, it’s still really long, and it’s generally not possible to pull head into a parking space with another vehicle parked in the space to the outside in a single maneuver, as the nose will smash into the outside car.
For head in parking when the outside adjacent space is occupied, you’re generally looking at a 3-point turn. Go about a full parking space past your intended space while going full lock on the steering, turning in to complete the first third of the turn. Then go opposite lock and reverse while getting the next third of the turn, and then you should be able to pull into the space while completing the last bit of the turn without the Suburban’s large ass hanging out to the side at a weird angle. Even people with regular length SUVs and minivans ought to be doing this from time to time, but get lazy and don’t, and this is how they end up with long scrapes down the sides of their vehicles!!! This is NOT a vehicle you want to half-ass your parking maneuvers with.
Reverse-In Parking is Usually just a 2-point Maneuver
To reverse in, start from the same side as the intended parking space if possible (so if the parking space is on your left, you’ll want to dive to the opposite side of the parking lane first), and then go full lock on the steering turning away from the parking space while pulling about two parking spaces beyond. Remember, this is a much longer vehicle than most, and you need the tail of your Burb lined up to enter the spot. Now you should be able to reverse straight in while going opposite lock on steering. The combination of the backup camera, which is excellent, and the auto tilt-down on the side view mirrors giving you a clear look at the parking space lines and how well aligned you are, makes this a piece of cake and usually only a 2-point turn.
Why Reversing In Is Better
The reason why reversing into a parking space is generally easier is because the front wheels that steer remain in the clear the whole time. Once the front wheels are buried between two cars while head in parking, you’re extremely limited on steering angles and overall maneuverability. This is why you can usually back into a space in a quick 2-point maneuver, whereas head-in parking usually requires a 3-point. You can keep the steering at the bump stops half way into a space while reversing in, whereas with head-in parking you need to be pretty much lined up already as soon as the nose is between two cars. That forces you to complete the required turn in less space, hence needing an extra point for your turn.
If you think head-in parking is going to be “easier”, you’ll probably change your mind the first few times you try reversing out a nearly 20-foot long truck with limited maneuverability due to the front wheels being buried deep in your parking space, and limited visibility behind you for both other cars and pedestrians. The camera is great, but not as good as your own two eyes. It’s far easier and safer to be able to pull out of a parking space going forwards rather than reversing.
Plus, when you back in with a grassy area behind you, you can let the Suburban’s long ass hang out over the curb, and you’ll effectively consume less of the parking space than the bozo next to you who half-assed their parking job with a car half the size. Backing in also means that the person exiting a parking space next to you only has to peer over your hood, as opposed to the much taller and tough to see through rear glass, so it’s safer and easier for others to egress from a parking space next to you if you back in as well.
Plan Your Ingress For Your Egress
This is one of those vehicles where you really ought to think about how you’re going to get out of a spot before you enter it. The best example is if you need to make a sharp turn when exiting a parking space in a garage. Whichever direction you need to turn in, make sure there’s not a large structural support column for the garage in the front of your space and in the direction you need to turn in, as it will cut into your turning radius and make exiting your space a total pain. Been there, done that, and had to have my family members get out and spot me because it was that close, and the garage was really tight. Choose another spot if possible. In that case it wasn’t because it was literally the last space in the garage, but we made it.
Watch Out For Parking Garage Clearance
YES! You need to start paying attention to the maximum vehicle heights for parking garages. The Suburban is 74.4” tall, or just round up to 6’-3”. I don’t like going into garages that are any less than 6’-6” tall. MOST of the time you’ll have enough clearance, but once in awhile you won’t, which is why you need to pay attention at all times! There’s definitely some shorter garages that you can NOT park in with one of these, and you definitely don’t want to find out the hard way!
It’s not just the vertical clearance either, but also the sharp turns and narrow ramps that can really be problematic, and are tougher to gauge.
It’s a freaking miracle that I made it out of this garage without anything more than a little curb rash on the right front wheel. There’s a reason why there was no surcharge for oversized vehicles in this parking garage, because they don’t actually fit! LOL! So it’s not just vertical clearance that matters, but also the tight and narrow turns. Umm, we won’t be parking in this garage again, and my wife is fired from SpotHero. :)
SQUARE OFF YOUR TURNS
Remember, this is a nearly 20 foot long vehicle. What you can get away with in a Toyota Corolla or even many SUV’s, you can’t in one of these. When you pull out onto the street with a 90 degree turn, you need to pull out a little bit further, and then turn a little bit more sharply to avoid hopping curbs. In general, you need to turn a little bit later and then a little more sharply during slow speed maneuvers (or as late as possible and then as sharply as possible in tight garages), as you need to let the extra six feet of vehicle behind you that you’re not used to, clear an obstacle such as a curb or another car before you start cutting your turn.
When you’re in a tight spot, you also need to be looking behind you on the inside of your turn in addition to looking in front of you, to make sure the back half of your vehicle is clearing any obstacles!
There are many, many, many vehicles in the D.C. area that have long scrapes down their sides because their drivers failed to do this, even with far smaller vehicles. You definitely need to pay the <bleep> attention when maneuvering a large vehicle in a tight space like this.
For Kids used To Minivan Doors
If you’re worried about your kids that are used to sliding minivan doors flinging their doors and smashing the cars next to you, well, that’s going to be a problem with any vehicle, and not just a Suburban. As long as you park centered in a reasonably sized parking space and the idiots adjacent to you are also reasonably well parked, you’ll always have enough space to open the doors “one notch” and get out. The doors opened one notch is going to be plenty for most people, and especially for kids. Just be sure to remind them before getting out. And come on, paying attention to surroundings and not slamming into other people’s thing is kinda a life skill anyway!! They’ll be fine with proper guidance!
Don’t Worry, YOU’ll BE FINE TOO
As long as you meet the litmus test above and have only merely been guilty of hopping some curbs or perhaps scuffed a few wheels, you can do this. If you’re the long scrapes down the side of the vehicle type, just don’t. Do us all a favor and just stick with your beat to sh*t Toyotas.
Debbie can park it!
My “car brain” has no problems driving whatever I need to. I hadn’t driven a stick-shift car in 12 years, but rented a little turbodiesel Renault Clio while we were in Italy with a 5-speed manual, and it was like I’d never stopped driving a stick. There was never any question of if I could drive a Suburban, but rather of just how big of a pain it might be to drive and park one of these in the crammed D.C. suburbs. It wasn’t until I really started looking for them that I realized just how many of these full-sized GM SUVs are on the road of all generations, driven by both men and women, plenty of which don’t have backup or 360 degree cameras, or even “self-parking” systems, but are pristine with no scrapes on them at all! Reality check. If these things were really that bad to drive and park, would sooo many people be driving them? No.
Yes, it’s an adjustment, and yes it can be a little intimidating at first, but trust me you’ll be fine. If you’re worried, just find an open parking lot to practice in as soon as you bring one home, and your brain will very quickly re-calibrate itself. I don’t even really have to think about parking anymore, and just do it.
About Fuel Economy
Awwww, a puuuuuppppy!!!! Lol
The bottom line is that if you find yourself in a place in life where you’re routinely hauling around 5 or more people, and if you have a dog, and if you’re an active family that goes places and does things, and if you sometimes have one or two more along with you as well, and if you have a home and property that you’re doing a lot of renovations on and are constantly needing to haul things for, and if you’re often needing to haul both people and piles of cargo or gear at the same time, it’s pretty much one of these or a minivan. And a minivan won’t typically haul bulky or larger cargo while also hauling three rows of people, so that can definitely help narrow it down!
A legit 24 mpg straight highway absolutely fully loaded.
20.5 mpg combined on an 880 total mile road trip.
23-24 mpg on straight highway runs absolutely loaded to the max with two vehicles worth of people and stuff is actually pretty freaking good, and you’re still usually looking at just over 20 mpg for full road-trip combined fuel mileage including all local driving. If you’re to the point where you’d have to take two cars everywhere, two separate vehicles would both have to be getting 48 mpg highway and 40 mpg combined each to match this, so that’s pretty efficient.
One fully loaded Chevy Suburban is as efficient as two Toyota RAV4 Hybrids. These are efficient vehicles within the proper context.
While the highway efficiency can be considered impressive, 16 mpg combined and 14 mpg city can be a little tough to swallow. The Suburban will definitely be doing a lot of that, as the (revised) EPA mileage estimates more or less match up with reality. You have to make these trucks work for you to really make sense. According to the EPA, my Suburban cost me about $500 more to drive over the past year than the Chevy Traverse that I almost bought. It’s easily paid its own fuel bill many times over in terms of the delivery services we haven’t had to pay for, trucks or vans that we haven’t had to rent, and from the convenience of being able to haul everything or everyone in one trip or with a single vehicle rather than multiple, saving both time and fuel.
You don’t buy a Suburban because fuel consumption is your top priority. You buy one because you’re an active family like us that goes places and does things, because you need to haul things, and because you need the capability that lesser vehicles don’t offer. Yes, minivans and large crossover SUVs are more fuel efficient, but have less capability. As soon as you start talking about bulky cargo like dog crates and fences, folding cots for glamping, and large coolers and other bulky items, you have to start folding seats down and compromising on passenger space in a minivan, whereas you can keep using all rows of seating completely with a Suburban.
And do you know how many minivans and even mid-sized SUVs I’ve seen with completely bottomed out suspensions that look like their wheels are going to fall off? The Suburban is a truck based vehicle with an actual frame. It’s designed to haul stuff, and tow too. In the photos below, there’s 1400 pounds of replacement soil loaded into it. There’s hardly any suspension squat due to the air-leveling suspension, and when driving it home it barely felt like anything was there at all. Nice.
If you can’t make one of these things work for you like that, there might be better options. My truck most definitely works for me.
We Love Our Burb
Swish! The Suburban has been a slam dunk for us.
Buying a car is always tough and pretty nerve wracking. The automotive press is completely bought out which can lead to ridiculously biased and misleading reviews, plenty of things can mask themselves on short test drives that are usually only a few miles long, and I’ve ended up buying some cars in the past that I’ve ended up hating as a result. Vehicles tend to be long-term investments for us, so we try to get things exactly right. You can tell after a year if something is going to be a “keeper” or not, and the Suburban is definitely one of the big winners.
“The poor man always pays twice!” I was worried that if I didn’t buy a Suburban, I’d just end up kicking myself, and sure enough there have been more than a few occasions over the past year where we’ve managed to fill this baby up completely with gear and people and stuff that a lesser vehicle wouldn’t have been able to swallow. Even Debbie — who swore up and down that I was crazy and that we’d “never need anything this big”, and who came home from the Chevy dealership all pouty faced because it wasn’t an X7 — has really come to appreciate everything our Suburban has been able to do for her that an X7 could only dream of.
Near Misses
As for the BMW X7, we didn’t get to see one until after we had already bought our Suburban. Cargo space numbers and online photos don’t process for Debbie, but as soon as she saw it in person she knew it hadn’t a prayer. The gap between the second row captain’s chairs is so tiny that even our 20 pound mini Goldendoodle wouldn’t have been able to hang out there. And while the third row of seats are more adult-sized, there’s virtually no cargo space left at all at less than 10 cubic feet. By the time you fill an X7 up with six passengers and a dog, there’s no room left for anything else, whereas you can still bring half of your house with you with a Suburban.
Vehicles like the X7 and the Mercedes GLS aren’t at all designed to do what the Suburban can do. They’re designed to haul a regular-sized family around, for taking friends out to a swanky dinner in the city when you don’t need any cargo space except for your leftovers, and for impressing professional and business clients, and that’s it. Nobody in their right mind is going to be loading over a thousand pounds of mulch or landscaping stones into one of these. These things are clearly built to impress and coddle, and not to do actual work.
The most shocking thing about seeing the X7 wasn’t the X7 itself, but rather seeing Annamarie Pistone, who had sold us both of our BMWs down at Passport BMW years ago, sitting in the office right behind the X7 at Rockville BMW! It was short-lived and she was only there for a few months, but we just happened to catch her and it was nice to see her again. Annamarie is the only “good” car salesperson I’ve ever had!
The Kia Telluride has also come out and looks really nice, but it’s a competitor for the Chevy Traverse and Volkswagen Atlas, and definitely not a Suburban replacement or alternative, either. The only thing like the Suburban on the road is the Ford Expedition Max, but the shockingly inadequate cargo space for even 5 people without starting to fold down the third row of seating in the Expedition Max was an instant disqualifier for us. Reviews that state that the Expedition Max has “similar” or “matching” cargo space to the Suburban, of which there are many, are just flat out lying.
I’m not surprised that the Chevy Suburban and all of its Tahoe and Yukon / Yukon XL platform mates continue to outsell the much newer Ford Expedition by a 3-to-1 margin even in the GM platform’s last year, and excluding all of the Escalades. Pardon the pun, but Ford really missed the boat, and since it has to do with hard points in their design, they’ll never be able to fix it in a refresh. I’m not sure what Ford was thinking designing a vehicle with enough space for 7-8 people, but not even enough cargo space for 5.
If I Had To Do It All Over Again
If I had to do it all over again, there’s a couple of things I would change.
First, I’m still not overly crazy about the Pepperdust Metallic exterior color, but when you’re trying to find a really good deal on a closeout “on the lot” 2018 model as the 2019’s are rolling in and you want very specific features, you have to be flexible somewhere, and exterior color ended up being it. It hides dirt and grime well, and it’s a lighter color so stays much cooler in the sun and will never be mistaken for an UberXL. I much prefer the looks of the pearl and cream colors, and the dark blue looks stunning. I do get a bit jealous when I see them, but the Pepperdust is okay — it’s just not a very exciting color.
A near twin spotted at Costco — 22” vs 20” wheels.
I’d also skip the 22” dubs. They look cool, but are more trouble than they’re worth, and contribute to a lot of the body noises and vibrations, since having been minimized by swapping to Michelin tires. I had actually intended to buy an identical model with the 20” wheels like the above instead, but it had just been sold the day before. The problem is that most Suburban LTZ/Premiers already come with 22” wheels from the factory, so it can actually be tough to find one with only the 20” wheels. If you’re getting a GMC Yukon Denali or a Cadillac Escalade, then yeah you “need” the 22’s as it completes the look. Denalis and Sclades look a bit barren with the 20” wheels, but the lowly Chevy looks just fine.
No Sun & Entertainment package in ours (moonroof and flip-down TV screens). Nobody has ever missed not having a moonroof, it cuts down on the potential for body vibration issues and leaks being parked outside 24/7, and our kids are more than happy to stare at their iPads all day. We’d just assume have a bit more vertical headroom for some taller family members, so no regrets not getting this stuff.
Last Call for the “K2xx” GM SUVs
The next generation Chevy Tahoe
The new “T1xx” generation of GM’s large SUVs based on the latest Silverado pickup trucks are due as early as the Spring of 2020 as 2021 models, so now is the last call for these outgoing “K2xx” models. I’m sure the new trucks will all be great (eventually), and they’re supposed to have independent rear suspensions with a bit better ride as well. Good luck.
I’d never buy a first year model of a brand new vehicle from any manufacturer, including from Toyota, and especially not from GM. Yeah. No! The best vehicles to buy have always been at least third year models after all of the kinks are ironed out and major issues addresses, and especially the mid-cycle refresh models with all of the planned feature and styling upgrades having been made. Some people just love having the latest sheet metal, but I need my vehicles to work for me and not become yet another “problem child”, so no thanks.
The worst car I’ve ever owned as far as overall quality and reliability was a second year model that I thought would be safe enough. It had a never ending stream of recalls, had to have the transmission replaced, was terrible to drive and had the most atrocious road manners and behavior, and it even left me stranded in my driveway once and had to get towed — and it was a Toyota! Go figure. I’m certainly not knocking GM or Chevy as it’s just the nature of buying a brand spanking new vehicle in its first year of production, but I’m sure Chevy will get their new generation of SUVs right by about the 2023 model year!
The End
That’s it! I hope you enjoyed this blog, the photos and the story, and find them useful. We love our Suburban and it’s definitely been the 100% correct choice for my family. They drive, handle, and perform well, are far easier to drive and park than you’d ever expect, are more fuel efficient than ever before, pretty darned reliable, and will haul 7 full-sized adults and your dog in comfort while also hauling all of your luggage and bulky cargo for a road trip. It’s also my first American built vehicle, and I’ve found it to be a very well engineered and well-rounded product of good overall quality. We couldn’t be happier with it, look forward to driving it for many more years to come, and know that it will be able to handle whatever life throws at us next.
STAY TUNED…
When you have a family that’s reached “critical mass” as ours has, one thing that happens is that it just becomes a major pain and prohibitively expensive to fly places for shorter duration trips. And do dogs really like getting shoved in crates and put into the bellies of aircraft, or having to get boarded? Nah bruh. We’ve all enjoyed traveling in our Suburban so much and have found it so pleasant to drive, that we have some true long-haul road trips planned that we’re very much looking forward to. So there will definitely be some Suburban road trip blogs in the future!
Our First Pinewood Derby Car - "Coupe De Will"
William and I built our first ever Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby car together. We just wanted to build a cool looking car that we could be proud of and would hopefully be fast, but we had no idea that our “Coupe de Will” would be so competitive that it would be in serious contention to win the entire event! Here’s the story of how we built our totally rookie but fiercely competitive Coupe de Will Pinewood Derby car
William joined the Cub Scouts last year and has been having a lot of fun in it and making lots of new friends. We just had an incredibly successful Pinewood Derby car event, so I figured I’d share our rookie entry, “Coupe de Will”. I never did Scouts as a kid and this is William’s first year, but “Coupe de Will”, named after the famous Cadillac Coupe de Ville, managed to win 3 of its 5 heats and placed 2nd in the other two, so it was a pretty hot car!
YOU’RE AN ENGINEER, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO FIGURE THIS OUT
RIght! Lol! You don’t need to be an engineer, just an understanding of high school physics is good enough - somebody knowing you’re an engineer just adds pressure is all. So what to do? Well, let’s just say that I’m typically neck deep in electronics that don’t actually work in my day job, and that when I come home I just like things to work for a change, so woodworking and tinkering projects like these aren’t really my thing. While the performance of Coupe de Will spoke for itself in that we got a lot of the engineering things right, numerous missteps while putting it together really spoke to my lack of experience as a hobbyist of this nature, which I felt would make for an interesting blog, so here we go. Classic Jeremy Clarkson: “How hard could it be?”
MINIMIZE AERODYNAMIC DRAG AND FRICTION
First things first, the only power these cars have is gravity pushing them down a ramped track, so you need to minimize all sources of friction including aerodynamic drag. A nice thin and flat streamlined shape is your friend, and while you can make a perfectly flat car like this, we wanted to build something that actually looked like a real car. William said he wanted to build a Lamborghini of course, so we got to work.
It quickly became apparent that just using coarse sand paper to shape the car was going to result in worn out arms long before we ever got anything looking like the car we wanted, so off we went to my office machine shop where we have a nice band sander and a band saw. Both are rarely used and thus not well maintained. The band sander had no material left on it and was basically useless, and the band saw was so dull from doing some metal work that it could barely trim through the pinewood block, but managed to get some cuts made and saved us a few hours of time. (I’d have just gone to Home Depot and gotten a jig saw or called up some friends to see what I could borrow!)
I ended up trimming way too long of a hood for a mid-engined Lambo (oops!) but had a really good coupe shape going so stuck with that. At home, I used a sharpie to mark about the shape we wanted, and then worked on it with some leftover pieces of sandpaper from an old painting job, and then fired up my Dremel’s sanding bit to do the rest of the shaping.
PAINTING AND DECORATING
Once we were satisfied with our shape, we got to work painting - “Lambo Yellow” of course. :) The lighter colored paint didn’t at all cover over the grain of the bare pinewood, so we ended up needing not two but three coats of paints done over two days, and then just a single coat for the dark blue windows, and a bit of red for the tail. While I was at it, I put on a bunch of the little vinyl decals, half of which fell off or were broken as we continued to handle the car through various things. Oops. Yeah, maybe save the decals for last, and the painting for next to last? Totally wrong order, but that’s just how we did things.
WHEELS AND AXLES
What’s next? Wheels and axles? Well, maybe not that either, but that’s what we did. There’s a bunch of companies out there that will take as much of your money as possible in building these cars, most of which I feel is a complete waste of money. One thing that I felt was worth it was this trick axle aligner tool I found at a local hobby shop for $15. It has a guide tool that’s perfectly shaped to get your axles inserted dead-on, which will help minimize friction going down the track. It made getting the nail axles inserted a piece of cake, and everything lined up and rolled perfectly.
While I was at it on the wheels, I opened up my tiny tube of graphic dry lubricant. Never seen it before, had no idea what it was, and quickly found out. It’s tiny graphite shavings that get literally everywhere, and basically act as mini ball bearings between the plastic wheels and the metal nail axle. Pretty decent idea, except that’s probably the absolute last thing you should do rather than in the middle of a bunch of other things!
WEIGHT PLACEMENT
A big consideration for a top performing pinewood derby car is your total weight, and also where you place it. You’re allowed a maximum weight of 5.00oz, and yes you’ll need weights to be competitive because the bigger (heavier) they are, the harder they’ll fall and the faster your car will go. So you’ll actually want to be right at the maximum allowed weight, but where do you put it?
Physics will tell you that the more weight you have higher up, towards the rear of the car as it’s pointing down the ramp, the more potential energy you’ll have to convert into kinetic energy going forward. So you actually want to have most of the weight towards the rear of the car to maximize potential energy, or as much as you can get without having the car pop a wheelie.
The axle placements for the standard Pinewood Derby kit are asymmetrical in that one has a shorter overhang and the other a bit longer. It wasn’t a coincidence that I used the one with the shorter overhang as the rear axle for the car. That way as you’re stacking your weights on the rear of the car, you’ll have less of it behind the rear axle trying to flip the car into a wheelie, and more of it between the two axles to help balance. Simple weight distribution physics in action.
After that I went back into the garage with my Dremel to start carving out our holes to stick our weights into, and quickly realized how ridiculous it was to have done the wheels and axles and dry lubricant already when wood dust from the Dremel with a sanding bit went everywhere, including into the wheels and axles! Sigh!
My initial plan was to use these flexible weights picked up at the Scouts of America store and drill holes for them through the back of the car. Problem was, I had shaved down too much of the trunk area and was going to risk cutting into the rear axle area, or they’d be sitting on top of the trunk and totally ruining the look of the car and it’s coupe shape. What to do, what to do. I took the Dremel and started hollowing out the rear of the car behind the axle for two “weight exhausts” which I thought would look pretty slick. I went for two at first, but realized I had enough space for a third, so hollowed out a bit more with the Dremel and made it a triple exhaust.
As for the rest of the weights, I hollowed out space for them in front of the rear axle and wheels and tried to make them look like side exit exhausts. Triple rear and triple side exit exhausts on both sides? Hey, what can I say, the “Coupe De Will” is a fast car! :) I cut the third side exit exhaust weight slightly shorter so that the car would end up at 5.00oz per regulation, but didn’t take into account all of the weight I was removing from the car by Dremeling out cavities to stick the weights in. Lol! Oops! Another rookie error. I didn’t want to risk grinding up the wheels with my Dremel or not leaving enough material near the rear axle area, so just put the last bit of weight closer to the front axle of the car. To test things out, I found some painter’s tape I had sitting around to tape all of the weights into place, and the car seemed well balanced going down the rear window of one of our cars. No wheelie popping issues.
GLUING IN WEIGHTS
Next up, gluing in weights. These were literally on the underside of the car with nothing to hold them there but the glue. These cars go flying down a huge track and crash and go flying around at the end, which makes whatever you use to glue the weights to the bottom of the car a critically important decision. So I just used whatever I had sitting around. :)
Hot glue guns are generally recommended. I think we might have one of those but have no idea where it is, and while I knew I had one at my office workshop, I didn’t feel like going back and rummaging around to find it so I just used the bottle of Gorilla glue I had sitting right in front of me. Like most special purpose glues in my house, I remember that I bought them for a reason but can’t remember what, and so there they sit. It’s always important to read the instructions though, because adhesive compounds have a zillion different variations, some need special prep, and there are huge variations in time to handling strength and time to being fully cured. I looked on the back of the bottle, and sure enough it wasn’t what I was hoping for, but it was what I had to work with. Need I mention I was also sick as a dog with the flu this whole week and terribly fatigued, so I was having to muscle through this big time and didn’t exactly have the energy to hit Home Depot.
For this glue to work, one surface had to be lightly dampened with water, and then the glue is applied to the other. Then you have to clamp them together for 1-2 hours. Crapola. 1-2 hour time to handling strength wasn’t what I was looking to hear, but it’d have to do. The glue fully cures after 24 hours, so considering this is “Gorilla Glue”, I assume you get a rock solid bonding strength compared to hot glue. I’m not sure I’d trust hot glue to hang weights off the bottom of a Pinewood Derby car like this, but the Gorilla glue ended up working great. The glue “foams” and expands 2-3x so you need to make sure you have some extra room for it to expand, and pressure applied to keep your objects in place while that’s happening. I glued in all of the weights, and then found small objects to sit on top of them for the night. When I came back in the morning, one bit of glue had foamed out underneath the bottom of the weights, so I just sanded that bit down with the Dremel so that it wouldn’t disturb aerodynamics.
CLEAN UP, DECALS, AND A FINAL GRAPHITE LUBE
I didn’t want all of the wood dust from hollowing out the space for the weights with the Dremel to end up mucking up the wheels and causing friction there, so I took the car back to my office workshop and used our high pressure air hose on it. If you don’t have a compressor and a high pressure air system, one of those cans of compressed air that you can get at Home Depot or most office supply stores will do. I’ve even seen those at Costco. After cleaning the car up, then it was back home for another round of dry graphite lubing, and finishing touches.
We initially had some flame decals on the hood and long pinstripes down the side, all of which were just not very robust and got broken from handling, so ended up pulling those off. William wanted to sticker it up NASCAR style, and the smaller and less complicated decals proved to be much more sturdy and applied easier as well. These aren’t “stickers” but rather vinyl decals that you have to cut out, and then press on, and that was that.
Our car was done, and my scale said it was dead on at 5.00oz.
HOW I REALLY SHOULD HAVE DONE IT
Cut and sand the pinewood block to the shape we wanted.
Drill holes and/or hollow out areas to place weights.
Painting.
Attach Wheels.
Attach Weights
Apply Decals.
Graphite Lube Wheels and Axles.
Got the engineering bits right, and everything related to the process completely wrong or backwards, but we got there! :)
CHECK-IN AND QUALIFYING
If you’re using the Pinewood Derby kit officially used by the Scouts organization, compliance with the rules is largely “baked in” to the template wood block, so you don’t need to worry about length, width, or wheel spacings so much. It’s mainly the weight you have to watch out for.
The bit of sanding of material under the “front” hood, and then just forward of the rear axle are areas where I did a bit of Dremel work to get the car right at 5.00oz.
Of course when we showed up to check-in the car and get it through its regulation checks, it was over on weight by 0.04oz. My scale showed “5.00oz” exactly, but it actually only weighs in 0.05oz increments, and the “official” scale is the only one that counts. I knew the car might be overweight, but nothing that a Dremel can’t fix. To get the car back in line on weight, I simply hollowed out a bit more of the underside of the car near the nose, which dropped it down by 0.02oz. A little bit more behind the rear set of weights and in front of the rear axle brought it down to 5.00oz exactly and it was good to go.
I blew all of the wood dust off the car once again, and then re-lubed the wheels and axles with the dry graphic lube for a third time, did a final check that it was still 5.00oz, and the car was officially ready to race, and race it did!
COUPE DE WILL KICKED BUTT!
I was ecstatic to see that not only was “Coupe de Will” a fast car, but it was actually one of the fastest in the entire pack! It WON three of its five heats, and placed 2nd in the other two. On the track that Pack 1450 has, most cars could do between 2.800-3.000 seconds. The faster cars could run in the 2.7xx second range, but only the absolute fastest cars were cracking into the 2.6xx’s, and Coupe de Will was one of them, and hitting a “scale speed” of 190 mph while it was at it! Yeehaw!
There was one other car that I saw hit a 2.67s at least twice, and one of the “sibling” cars was an obvious ringer, “Unicorny”, which hit 2.65s and set a new track record! Lol! I don’t think that one counts officially, so while I’m not sure if “Coupe de Will” was the fastest overall, it was definitely one of the top few cars and we were blown away!
I just wanted to help William and I build a fast car that looked pretty cool that we could both be proud of. I was sick as a dog with the flu the whole week, didn’t have time to think much (hence all of the missteps) and was really just winging it never having done this before, so I about fell over at the event when I realized that our Coupe de Will was in contention for possibly being the fastest car in the pack! Pretty exciting!
Cliffhanger
Sorry to leave this one on a cliffhanger, but the official results will be announced at the Pack’s Blue & Gold Banquet in another week. I’ll update this blog then, but for now just wanted to share a fun story and some cool photos of the event, and also some lessons learned on what NOT to do while building a really fast pinewood derby car for the first time ever!
Official Race Results
A picture speaks a thousand words!
1st Place - Craftsmanship, Webelos 1 Den
1st Place - Speed, Webelos 1 Den
2nd Place - Overall, Pack 1450
WOW! Coupe de Will managed to take home both 1st place trophies in his Webelos 1 den for both Craftsmanship and Speed, and finished 2nd place overall in the entire pack! What an amazing result for a totally rookie effort! William is so proud! I knew we probably had a lock on the Speed contest within the den, but had no idea we’d win for Craftsmanship as well, which was a total shocker. Pack 1450’s Cubmaster described “Coupe de Will” as a very well-rounded entry for this reason.
But wait, there’s more! The 1st place speed winner in each pack qualifies for the district wide competition, so there will be a Part 3 to the race results here. I’ll have to check and see if we’re allowed to modify the car in any way before the district competition, because I’ll want to shave down that area just in front of the rear axle so that I can move that weight back a tad to hopefully pickup a few hundredths of a second more.
Stay Tuned…
I believe districts are in March (they were May!)
Potomac District Pinewood Derby Competition
The Potomac District Pinewood Derby competition was held on Saturday, May 11th. As expected, Coupe de Will did well and was at the upper-middle pack level, but was never going to compete with the purpose built totally streamlined cars. That’s where you get the extra few hundredths of a second from along with probably some other tricks, but William had the fastest pinewood derby car that actually looked like a real car. It was fun to watch and we definitely learned a lot. They raced all of the cars by den level, and Coupe de Will finished 7th out of 19 out of all of the Weblos 1 cars in the district. Pretty good!
I’ll let William decide what he wants to build next year, and whether it will be more about design and look, or more about speed, or a combination of the two like we did this year. Coupe de Will will now be retired! Enjoy the photo albums of both the Pack level and the District level competition below
Click Below For the Full Photo Albums
Our first totally rookie Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby car, “Coupe de Will” was an amazing success! It placed first in his den for both speed and design, and was the 2nd fastest car in his entire Pack! You can read about the entire build process at the blog.
So having performed amazingly at his Pack level competition, William’s “Coupe de Will” competed in the Potomac District on Saturday, May 11th. Don’t miss the blog.
Thanks to all of the volunteers for Cub Scouts Pack 1450 in Rockville for making this happen. We had a great time!
FULL REVIEW: How The Hell Do You Go From Driving a BMW 335i to a 2018 Chevy Suburban
My review of our new 2018 Chevy Suburban Premier 4x4, how the hell I transitioned to driving one of these from my low-riding 2011 BMW 335i convertible, and comparisons to minivans, larger crossover SUVs, and of course the Ford Expedition Max for our family of five plus dog and occasional add-ons!
I knew we needed something not just a little bit bigger than my wife’s beloved 2012 BMW X5 35d with the special order only three row seating, but rather a lot bigger, but what? Every man is allowed to own a big truck at least once in his life, and you don’t need permission by mere virtue of the fact that you’re a member of the male species. I’ve always wanted a truck, preferably something American, and preferably with a V8 before they go extinct, so here’s my new 2018 Chevy Suburban Premier 4x4!
This is a pretty far departure from my previous 2011 BMW 335i convertible, which we still own and my wife drives now, but we’re no longer the family of four that we once were. Now we’re a family of four, plus my wife’s adult brother who is disabled that we care for. That necessitated a bigger house that I commonly need to haul things for, and then came the dog, and my folks aren’t getting any younger and really need to be driven around when we go places together, rather than taking two cars and trying to follow. We’re always going somewhere and doing something and travel a lot, and we’re always piling into the airport at least a a few times a year also, possibly with an “extra”, so I think you get the idea…
Life has taught us to expect the unexpected and to be prepared for almost anything, and I don’t think there’s a more appropriate vehicle for that than a Chevy Suburban.
How Does It Drive?
Well, the Suburban doesn’t drive like my classic E9x BMW 335i, or even our traded E70 BMW X5, but damn if it isn’t too far from the latter. You don’t have to make excuses for this thing - it doesn’t just drive well “for such a large vehicle”, it drives well period, handles well, turns well, and is pretty quiet and has a comfortable ride despite the 22-inch “dubs”. Many of the reviews you’ll read about these GM behemoths (Yukon XL and Escalade ESV also) will commonly mention that they feel much smaller to drive than they really are. It’s true, and a lot of different things go into that.
The steering is just about perfect. It’s very accurate, there’s no slop or on center dead spot, and the variable weighting is on point. It’s easy to turn in parking lots, and stiffens up nicely when you’re taking turns at speed, all of which allows you to pilot this 6000lb hunk of steel down the road with confidence while keeping it pointed and tracking exactly where you want it to. If only the electric power steering in modern BMWs were this good, none of the BMW fanboys would have been complaining, myself included.
The Magnetic Ride Control adaptive suspension in the LTZ/Premier trim keeps body roll to an absolute minimum, automatically softens on rough roads and stiffens in corners, and overall really transforms the truck. This is the same suspension system used in the Corvette and a number of Ferrari’s and other high-end vehicles, and I can see why - it’s amazing and works extremely well! I have numerous family members that are prone to motion sickness which can be from body motion among other things, and there have been no issues even with the 22” wheels. Although the ride is a bit on the stiff side, we’re quite used to it coming from taut but compliant European suspensions. A test drive of a few rental Suburbans with the standard “Premium Ride” passive suspension was a no-go, however. They were much too floaty and had insufficient damping, and even I got a bit motion sick in them. The Magnetic Ride suspension comes as standard on the LTZ/Premier trim trucks, and unfortunately isn’t an option on any of the lower trims.
The Suburban is no screamer performance wise, but 0-60 mph in around 7.2s and a 15.5s quarter mile time with the optional 3.42 gears is no slouch and more than adequate, which was all I was looking for. I don’t need a three-ton SUV to be as fast as my 335i. Its overall powertrain calibration is clearly geared more towards comfort and smoothness which is fine, and the 6L80E 6-speed automatic transmission “granny shifts and doesn’t double-clutch like it should”, especially on 2-3 upshifts, but don’t let that fool you. The 355hp 5.3L V8 roars to life when you put your foot down, and this “Trump truck” will haul ass and move with authority when you need it to. When you need to stop, the brakes definitely aren’t as good as the effortless autobahn grade brakes on our Bimmers, but overall braking performance and feel all seem just fine to me, even if instrumented tests have shown braking distances to be a bit long.
Finally checked the box. My first V8! Yeehaw! It’s a GM L83 5.3L V8 with 11.0:1 compression, direct injection, cylinder shutoff capability, and dual-equal style variable valve timing on the single block mounted cam. 355hp and 383 lb-ft of torque on regular grade fuel, and 22 mpg highway in this 6000lb 4WD beast. Not bad for an “antiquated low-tech pushrod” engine.
Numerous reviews have really knocked the GM Hydramatic 6L80E transmission. I agree that it’s nothing special these days, but a 6-speed automatic is hardly “antiquated”. The laws of diminishing returns start to kick in once you get past 6 forward gears, so are they suddenly outdated just because there are other transmissions out there with more forward gears? Both of our Bimmers have had German ZF 6-speed automatics, which work brilliantly. I’ve sampled the gold standard ZF8HP 8-speed successor many times in BMW loaner vehicles, and for the most part it just seems like they have a bunch of unnecessarily extra overdrive gears. An extra gear or two might be helpful if you’re routinely towing or hauling heavy loads, but otherwise the 6-speed is fine, especially when paired with an engine with a very broad powerband. Be careful what you wish for, however. There have been widespread issues with lots of these 8-10 speed “super” transmissions as far as erratic shift mapping, “excessive shifting”, and rough shift quality or feel. The more complicated something becomes, the more difficult it is to make it work well. The 6L80E is probably about as close as you can get these days to a simple, drama free, and bulletproof transmission, which I think is a good and often overlooked “feature” to have.
Truth be told, most engines have more than enough power these days, and it ends up being the transmissions and their gearing that really make or break the driving experience. Auto manufacturers have pretty much tapped out horsepower marketing, so now they’re using number of gears in their transmissions as the next best marketing tools. An extra cog or two might feel a bit more luxurious to drive, but considering the issues GM has had with their half-baked clunking and jarring 8-speed automatic (and their new GM/Ford 10-speed hasn’t been problem free either), I’m more than happy with the lowly 6L80E and don’t feel like it detracts from the driving experience. Remember that it was 6-speed automatic transmissions that arguably finally leveled the playing field in terms of performance and efficiency versus manual transmission equipped vehicles. There’s nothing wrong with a 6-speed automatic, and sometimes less is more.
On the topic of transmissions and gearing, one thing you really need to get especially if you’re a former ‘ahole’ BMW driver with expectations like myself is the aforementioned optional 3.42 final drive ratio, which can be had in the Max Trailering Package for $500. The 3.08 gearing is fine in a thousand pound lighter Silverado pickup that isn’t going to do much towing or in a RWD Tahoe, but are just too long when it comes to the Suburban. I mean, 2nd gear will wind all the way out to nearly 80 mph with the 3.08 gearing, which is ridiculous. Low speed corner exit performance is also unacceptable with the 3.08 gears, leading to a lot of awkward 3-2 and totally annoying 2-1 kickdowns. What the hell? GM should have just made the 3.42 gearing standard, but I guess then they wouldn’t have been able to up-charge you for them. There’s no reason to not get the 3.42 gears and there’s not even a fuel economy penalty either. The 3.42 gears still only have the engine at 1800 rpm at a 75 mph cruise, so this is still pretty long gearing which is also right on the bottom edge of the engine’s torque band. The 3.08 gears are even longer and have the engine revving even slower on the highway, and there just isn’t enough rock bottom end torque to pull these way long gears well in such a beast. It leads to a lot more downshifts while going up highway grades and less cylinder cutoff V-4 operation as well. The 3.08 axle ratio just isn’t a good match for the 6000lb Burb, so unless you absolutely don’t care or live out in the plain states where there’s no hills to contend with, be sure to get one with the 3.42 gears.
The easiest way to tell if a 2015-2019 Suburban or Tahoe has the 3.42 gearing is to look for the optional Max Trailering Package equipment, which includes the trailer brake controller and an option for 4 LO on the transfer case control, to the left of the steering wheel and next to the light switch.
Suburbans (and Tahoes and Yukon/XL’s) with the Max Trailering Package and the 3.42 gears are easy to identify, because they’ll have extra dash-mounted controls to the left of the steering wheel for the trailer brake controller, and will have both 4HI and 4LO options on the transfer case control since you get a 2-speed transfer case as part of the deal also. 6.2L V8 equipped trucks all have a 3.23 axle ratio, and enough extra oomph that you won’t care.
What’s It Like Inside?
It’s more like an apartment than a car. The amount of space inside is incredible of course, which is why you buy a Suburban. Some casual car shoppers seem to think that the Suburban actually has the same cramped 3rd row seats as the shorter wheelbase Tahoe and just more cargo space, but that’s not true at all. The Tahoe is on a 116” wheelbase and is 204” long overall, vs. the Suburban on a 130” wheelbase and being 224” long. That’s a lot of extra floorplan in the Suburban. First and second row legroom is identical between the two, but the Suburban has 34.5” of third row legroom vs 24.8” in the Tahoe, and 39.3 cubic feet of cargo space behind the third row of the Suburban vs. 15.3 cubic feet in the Tahoe, both of which are huge differences if you’re routinely using three rows of passengers.
Cutaway image via Chevrolet.com, Cocoa/Dune Interior
There’s tons of space up front obviously, and it’s plenty comfortable for long drives. The 2nd row captain’s chairs don’t adjust other than the pitch of the seatback, but there’s plenty of space and legroom there as well, and more than enough room for me to sit behind myself at 6’3” tall. You can also get a 2nd row bench seat if you want which gains you an extra seat, but this tends to make the cabin feel a bit claustrophobic for that many passengers. The 3rd row seats three full-sized adults, and while the outboard seats won’t be the first choice for super tall people, you can definitely fit three 6-foot tall adults back there, with unlimited legroom for the center-rear seat passenger with the space opened up from the 2nd row captain’s chairs. If you have a dog, the space opened up from the 2nd row captain’s chairs are the ideal place for them to hang out while on the road.
The seats are supportive and comfortable, and the interior materials are decent enough, but they’re not going to compare to the luxury brand SUV’s also in this price range. You’re paying for more metal and a much larger vehicle with your money, not for top-notch materials quality. And it’s a Chevy. That said, there’s nothing that I find offensive. There’s no options for 37-way adjustable massaging seats, although you do get heated and cooled seats. There’s also no option for fancy exotic leather that’s straight off a coddled European calf fed all organic meals. You have to step up to the Cadillac Escalade for that, but we’ve all been on hours long road trips in our “Canyonero” and nobody has had any complaints.
Image via Chevrolet.com, Cocoa/Dune Interior
Driving position and overall visibility are also pretty darned good, and there’s just not a sense that you’re sitting up high or are in some massive vehicle. On some vehicles you can get completely lost in the hood lines, or lack of lines, and have no idea where you even are on the road. That isn’t the case with the Suburban, and it’s easy to keep visually aligned, including while parking. The side view mirrors seem a bit small, unbelievably to help with aerodynamics, but I’m used to smaller mirrors from my 335i and so it hasn’t been an issue for me. You’ll definitely want to get the optional blind spot warning system in the Burb, though.
I actually like the steering column shifter. It clears up so much space in the center console area, and unlike these small rotary knob shifters, and potentially dangerous “return to center” and ridiculous push button shifters they’re coming out with these days literally trying to reinvent the wheel (the shifter), the old school GM column shifter is easy to find and use by feel alone, and otherwise just says the hell out of your way. I think only GM could do this, and that for every other automaker it’s considered a faux pas or something. I like it and think it works well, but because it’s how GM does it, everybody else has to do it differently. I don’t care. :)
Cruise control set at 75 mph, near following distance (far is like a 1/4 mile away it seems like), and the HUD is sweet.
If there’s one thing I’m OCD about, it’s the instrument cluster. It needs to look “right” to me, and if it doesn’t I can’t buy the vehicle. The standard “midlevel” instrument cluster even on the Premier model just seemed about 10 years out of date to me, so the upgraded “Enhanced Driver Information Center” (Enhanced DIC, lol) cluster with the digital gauges that also comes with the heads-up display are nice, and the adaptive cruise control takes away a whole lot of the fatigue of long distance driving. Checking this option, which is the only one I wanted on the Premier trim, also gets you Forward Collision Alert with automatic braking, whose functionality works off of the adaptive cruise setup. This stuff really ought to be standard at this level, but I’m not going to complain. Chevy is nothing like how the Germans bend you over on the up-charges.
The infotainment setup is well-sorted and very easy to use, it’s not overly complicated or a long reach, the touch screen works well, and there are enough dedicated controls for commonly used functions that no one will have any complaints. Bonus, I’ve fallen in love with SiriusXM and have never had it in a vehicle before. You can enjoy the same stations no matter where you are, which is great on long trips.
The ride is generally quiet, but unfortunately you don’t get a German vault-like experience. This generation of Suburban is known for some odd cabin vibration and resonance (humming) issues that you can read all about on various Internet forums. It’s definitely worse with the 22” wheels, but is mostly due to the factory BridgeSTONE tires. This truck has a mild case of that, but fortunately it’s not bothersome enough to cause any complaints. The best fix is to replace the factory tires with Michelins, or go down to 20” wheels.
Beware of potential noise and cabin vibration issues especially with the 22” wheels, but mostly has to do with the tires. Be sure to thoroughly test drive including up to highway speeds to check.
On my truck, you’ll notice some low speed shuddering over bumps, but it’s quickly damped and not a bother. There’s one “bad speed” where the resonance hits a peak at around 63 mph (and 66 when the tires are still cold). It almost sounds like the steady humming on an aircraft, but it’s easy enough to just avoid cruising steadily at that speed with the heads-up display, and otherwise nobody notices or cares. So I’ll save my money for now and just burn up the factory Bridgestone tires, but will eventually replace them with the Michelins.
If you’re shopping for one of these vehicles, be sure to take it for a very thorough test drive to check for this, including up to highway speeds, and especially if equipped with the 22” wheels! My truck is okay, but there have been a lot of complaints about this on the Internet and far worse examples and horror stories, especially in the 2015-2016 models. Most all of the production tweaks that were made to mitigate the vibration issues were done by the 2017 model year, which is also a reason why I always try to avoid the first few model years of a brand new vehicle. I’ve always preferred to buy mid-cycle refresh models that have all of the kinks worked out, optimizations made, and the extra features added in that should have been there in the first place, but before all of the cost-cutting that tends to occur in the last model years of a vehicle’s production cycle! Hey I’m just an engineer, what do I know? :)
Furniture Hunting
I think it’s like a right of passage or something that as soon as you buy a Suburban, you have to go find a couch to shove in the thing, and that’s exactly what we ended up doing! :)
After Christmas, we sent our kids and dog packing up to Pennsylvania with their grandparents, and did a little furniture shopping while they were gone. No issues squeezing couches, bed frames, chairs, and other things inside. It paid for itself that month just in all of the delivery fees we saved. On the way up to PA to pickup our kids and dog, we swung by another furniture outlet and found a matching leather chair and ottoman we wanted. The Suburban swallowed them both, and still had plenty of space leftover for the kids luggage, the dogs crate, and a bunch of other stuff, and we all drove comfortably back home to Maryland with zero complaints from anybody. “We’ll never need anything this big”, she said! Bwahahahah! Glorious! I love my truck. :)
Our new couch and leather chair, “free” delivery courtesy of the Suburban. We managed to find another matching leather chair and an ottoman a few days after this, and also picked up a new bed frame. What delivery fee? :)
But What About Parking?
You would be shocked at how tightly this thing can turn, and how maneuverable it is in parking lots. That said, you’re still definitely going to want to back in most of the time, as you’ll have a lot more maneuverability that way. The standard backup camera and auto-tilt down feature on both side view mirrors makes it easy to get lined up and dead nuts on in your space, which is important because the Suburban will take up ALL of most parking spaces, but not a square foot more. There’s no 360-degree parking camera available on the Suburban (or Yukon XL), but the combination of the backup camera and auto-tilt down mirrors work well enough together that it’s a non-issue. If you really want a 360-degree camera, you can get one on the Escalade.
Parking a Suburban is more a matter of trust. There’s no reason you can’t get it into most any spot you want, but if you see cars in adjacent spaces that are all crooked, or especially Toyota’s with bashed in bumpers and long scrapes down their sides, which is every other Toyota where I live, maybe you should move on. Just because you have the skill to park a behemoth like this doesn’t mean that others have the skill to maneuver around you while reversing out. How do you think they got those long scrapes down the sides of their cars and bashed in bumpers in the first place?
Do yourself and everybody else a favor and just park out of most people’s way if you can, and back in if possible not just for your own maneuverability, but so that they only have to peer over your hood while backing out and won’t have all of their side vision blocked with the massive trunk area, too. You can also let the Suburban’s long tail hang out over the grass, which will make it even easier for people around you to get out.
The one situation where you’ll have trouble parking is when the parking lanes are narrow enough that two cars can barely get by. Pulling in front first here will be impossible, and even backing in can be challenging if other long cars are parked nearby and hampering your maneuverability even further. This is rarely the case, and most parking lots have more than enough space, but it does have its limits.
JUST REMEMBER It’s Nearly 20 Feet Long
Most cars at most wheelbases and lengths are proportioned such that as soon as you clear an obstacle from the driver’s seat, like a concrete pillar in a parking deck or another parked car, you can start turning and you’ll be okay. The Suburban is NOT like that! You need to be aware that this is a long vehicle at nearly 20 feet long, and to pull out a little more, turn a little bit later and more sharply, and to “square off” your turns while in tight quarters. Just because you’ve cleared the concrete pillar of the parking deck or the car parked next to you from your driver’s seat, doesn’t mean that the rest of a Suburban will if you immediately start turning!
If you have a brain that can naturally process three-dimensional space awareness then you’ll get this, but if you have no idea what the hell I just said, maybe you shouldn’t drive one of these things. Isn’t it funny how every other Toyota I see has bashed in bumpers and long scrapes down the sides of their cars, but almost every Suburban I see is pristine? Funny how that works. Some people shouldn’t be driving period.
But Why not the…
We ended up buying a bigger house before we bought a bigger vehicle, which then punted the new car down the road another year. Then we finally got a dog to go with the bigger house, which increased the amount of space we’d need and had to rethink a bit. All of that left lots of time to consider options in a nearly 2 year long car shopping process. We take our time and try to get exactly what we want the first time, because buying the wrong car and having to trade in the near term can be a pretty costly affair. Literally every larger vehicle on the market was considered.
So first up, the obvious question…
Why Not A Minivan?
I’m sorry, a what?
Listen, we’re just not minivan people, okay? I just can’t. I’d rather slit my wrists than drive one, and Debbie has similar thoughts on that front. Yeah, they’re a ton cheaper, more fuel efficient, can haul lots of people and bulky cargo, and the sliding doors make a ton of sense and are super convenient, so it’s a shame that we’ll never own one of these. I even rented one on a road trip once upon a time and thought it was great! I almost could have bought a Chrysler Pacifica, but only if we traded both cars and got a Dodge Challenger R/T at the same time going full MOPAR. Debbie was horrified of being seen in either vehicle however, so that was that.
And let’s be honest, going from a BMW 335i “sex machine” convertible to a freaking minivan is just plain cruel and inhumane, but a full-sized SUV with a V8 is doable. :) Minivans make a ton of sense for most people, but not everything in life needs to make sense, and we’re not “most people”. So there. Enjoy your minivans. I’d rather get run over by one than drive one myself.
Next?
Why Not A Larger Crossover SUV?
No matter what large crossover SUV you’re looking at, they all have one thing in common. While many can haul 6-7 adults in relative comfort, they tend to have almost no cargo space when the 3rd row of seats are in use. That’s nice if you’re taking you and your friends into the city for a nice swanky dinner, but we’re an active family that goes places and does things. We need to have room for people and cargo at the same time.
The Mercedes-Benz GLS (top) and the BMW X7 (bottom)
The Mercedes-Benz GLS class is considered by many to be the top large SUV, but it has a totally inadequate 16.0 cubic feet of cargo space with the 3rd row in use, versus the Suburban’s cavernous 39.3 cubic feet. The brand spanking new BMW X7 is even more pathetic with only 11.5 cubic feet with the 3rd row up, which is barely enough to go to the grocery store. The Honda Pilot matches the GLS with 16.5 cubic feet, but has a terrible 3rd row seat that’s literally on the floor and results in your knees being in your face. It’s just awful. The new Volkswagen Atlas is packaged much better than the Pilot and has a far superior 3rd row seat, but still only has around 20 cubic feet of cargo space. It’s more reasonable and I can see why a lot of people are buying them, but just isn’t going to cut it for us. The Toyota Highlander? 13.8. Meh.
The Chevy Traverse Near Miss
Unlike a lot of mid to large sized crossover SUVs, there’s actually a fair amount of vertical space behind the 3rd row seats to stack bags in.
The recently redesigned Chevy Traverse and its long wheelbase platform twin, the Buick Enclave, came pretty darned close and are almost in a class of their own. The Traverse is what I had actually intended to buy for awhile, and it has a much more useful and respectable 23.0 cubic feet of space behind its third row, not including a useful sub-trunk area where you could shove another duffel bag or two. I’d still have needed an external cargo carrier of some sort for many of our road and beach trips, or have needed to fold down one side of the third row seats, but a couple of things turned me off.
First, and not that I’m even really a stickler for color combinations, but the interior and exterior color options on the Traverse were a complete mess. I couldn’t find even a single interior and exterior color combination that I liked or that my wife would accept, and the two-tone gray and tan interior is an abomination. Next, how does the standard AWD system not have an “auto” mode? It’s either FWD or AWD, but you have to switch it yourself with a hidden knob, which just seems backwards. There were also some extremely cheap bits in the vehicle that just seemed out of place, but the final nail in the coffin for the Traverse was the realization that the 3rd row seating is really only two and a half seats wide and not three. While we could have gotten away with it for now, our kids aren’t getting any smaller, and we’d once again be crammed for space sooner rather than later which took it out of the running. I wanted whatever I bought to be a 10+ year drive it into the ground type of vehicle, and not something we’d ever grow out of. Suburbans are pricey, but if you can get 10+ years of use out of them as many people do, they become a good investment.
I like the Traverse and think it’s a really nice option for many, but just felt like we’d either outgrow it, or our lives would change once again and I’d have been kicking myself for not just buying the Suburban. After hauling furniture AND people at the same time in our Suburban over the holidays, the Traverse would have already proven to be too small for us, so the point has already been made and I’m glad I didn’t get the Traverse. The Traverse is big enough for what you can plan for, but we’ve learned to expect the unexpected in our lives, and I like having a more vehicle.
Why Not The Ford Expedition Max?
The Suburban’s most natural and only true competitor is the Ford Expedition Max, (previously the Expedition EL), but it had an immediate deal-breaking issue that prevented it from from even being considered. Somebody is lying out their you know what’s about cargo space, and I personally think it’s Ford.
A rental “Chevy Suburban or equivalent” 2018 Ford Expedition Max.
Ford claims a practically identical 36.0 cubic feet of cargo space behind its third row of seats to the Suburban’s 39.3 cubic feet, but I can’t get over just how little cargo space the brand spanking new Ford Expedition “Max” has, and it ended up being a non-starter because of that. Go look at them yourself back to back at an auto show, or bring all of your luggage to dealerships and there’s just no comparison. I think maybe Ford meant 26.0 cubic feet and made a very convenient typo, but either way the Suburban has way freaking more cargo space!
Just a couple of things from Costco and the Expedition Max’s trunk space is already almost completely consumed! Umm, there’s just not a lot of space here??
I rented a “Chevy Suburban or equivalent” one weekend which ended up being a new Ford Expedition Max, so I’ll just let the pictures do the talking. Here’s the Expedition Max with our 5 large medium to large sized rigid bags for our international travels. Normally there’d be another small duffel bag or two, a few backpacks, and my camera bag also, but I stuck to just the large items to avoid the clutter and having to find them all.
Expedition Max trunk space completely consumed with just 5 large rigid bags.
That’s it! There was no more space to squeeze the extras in after our main travel bags! I could have squeezed the small duffel in, but what about the backpacks and my camera bag? It just wasn’t going to fit, and then I’d have had to fold down one of the third row seats which I might have needed for passengers on some of our trips.
Below are the exact same bags in our 2012 BMW X5, and unlike the Expedition Max, I have plenty of room to squeeze in our small duffel, the couple of backpacks, and then my camera bag. Unbelievable. There’s no optical illusions or tricks of different angles going on here, the Expedition Max just has totally inferior cargo space.
Our 2012 BMW X5 with the same five international trip rigid bags, with room to spare for all the extras!
The lack of cargo space in the Expedition Max ruled it out completely, so when I finally had my new Suburban in my driveway I did the same test. The Suburban has so much more space than the Expedition Max that I could fit my son in there along with the little extras! Just 3 cubic feet difference, my ass! Either Chevy is understating their cargo space or being extremely conservative with it, or Ford is overstating. You know what I think.
My 2018 Suburban with all three rows of seating deployed.
With the same 5 bags, there’s tons of space leftover for even one or two more rigid bags, and more than enough space for our usual complement of duffels, backpacks, and my camera bag.
There’s so much more cargo space in the Suburban that I could squeeze my son back there and STILL fit all of the extras. There’s just no comparison. The Suburban has far superior cargo space despite the similar specs.
I really don’t know what to say, but I think there’s reasons why Ford went out of their way to conveniently crop out or try to obscure the cargo space of the Expedition Max in press and brochure photos, and why they’re visually marketing external cargo carriers for the Expedition as well, because they know the cargo space is lacking. How it is that a vehicle that has practically the same overall length and wheelbase as a Suburban is lacking in cargo space is beyond me, so Ford really screwed this up in my view. The Expedition Max might have a bit more passenger space with its sliding 2nd row seats, but none of us felt like the Burb is lacking for passenger space and accommodations while also having far superior cargo space, so that sealed the deal for us.
The rest of the Expedition was nice enough. It definitely needs their optional suspension system, because the body roll with the standard suspension was excessive, and my wife said it felt like it was going to tip over. I wasn’t nearly as much of a fan of the 3.5L EcoBoost V6 as I thought I’d be, which sounded and felt like a combination of a vacuum sweeper and a blender, and actually felt quite rough at times. It had nowhere near the sound, character, or overall refinement and smoothness of our beloved turbocharged and turbodiesel Bavarian Inline-6 engines, which Mercedes-Benz has started making again now too. Power wise the Expedition is definitely faster, but really didn’t feel all that much better than the 5.3L V8 in the Chevy. Apparently if you brake-torque the Expedition to get the twin-turbochargers on boost before launch, you can get a high-5 second 0-60 time, but who the hell is going to do that in a freaking Expedition? With a normal street start from idle it felt about the same, and matting it on the highway felt about the same, too. And let’s face it, who the hell cares? Nobody buys these things to race.
The 10-speed automatic mostly skipped gears, but at times it went through them sequentially one-by-one, almost like shifting a multi-speed bicycle while jerking you in your seat a little bit on each shift, much of which just felt totally pointless and annoying. When you’re to the point that you end up skipping gears most of the time, you have to realize that a 10-speed automatic is really just for bragging rights and marketing, and that there’s not really much of a point to one while also making things far more complicated than they need to be. GM uses this same transmission design, as it’s a jointly developed transmission between the two. I haven’t driven it in a GM vehicle yet, but from what I’ve read it’s supposed to be a little more transparent, but not without “issues”, either. See what I mean about transmissions?
If you buy based on paper specs, the Ford Expedition Max should be the obvious choice because it has more horsepower, more torque, more gears in its transmission, it’s faster, can tow more, and and has more “sophistication” in its design, but it just didn’t add up for me. It felt much more clumsy than even a standard suspension Suburban, felt much bigger to drive either way, and the more flexible interior somehow led to totally insufficient cargo space despite similar specs and dimensions.
Numbers do lie because humans manipulate them and have different ways of measuring them, and you really just have to go test drive these things and try them out for yourself. You can hardly shop based on specs that manufacturers bend or stretch the truth about, and while I’m not going to say that a 6-speed transmission is “better” than the new 10-speed, the 6-speed sure is less annoying to drive and doesn’t have any of the annoying issues that tend to find their way into many of these 8, 9, and 10 speed transmissions. Don’t even get me started on CVTs. The best place to drive a vehicle with a CVT transmission is off a cliff!
Why Not A Yukon Denali XL, Suburban RST, or Cadillac Escalade ESV?
You’d think a former ‘ahole’ BMW 335i driver would want max power. You can get the Corvette derived 6.2L V8 with 420hp in the 2019 Suburban RST, or the GMC Yukon XL Denali, which is a pretty big upgrade over the standard 355hp 5.3L V8 in the Suburban. Why not?
Two words: Running Costs.
The Suburban gets a “respectable” 15 mpg city, 22 mpg highway, and 18 mpg overall on regular grade fuel, all of which I can vouch for in my own driving. The 31.5 gallon tank is massive, and the 27 gallon fill-ups from when the low fuel warning light comes on ends up being around $60 based on current fuel prices. That’s not too bad. As appealing as that 6.2L V8 might sound, fuel mileage drops to 14 mpg city, 20 mpg highway, and 16 mpg overall, but on premium grade fuel, and now your cost to fill the tank goes all the way to around $90, and you’ll be filling it more often. Ouch. So how badly do you need your 6000lb SUV to be as fast as your BMW 335i? For me, not nearly enough.
19.1 mpg overall on our first Thanksgiving road trip of 538 miles, including all local driving, a few country two-lane full throttle passes, and an hour or so of idling at various places with 5 people and a dog and luggage on board was seriously not bad at all!
Technically you don’t have to put premium grade fuel in the bigger engine, which also runs a slightly higher compression ratio of 11.5:1 than the 11.0:1 in the 5.3L V8. It says right in the book that you can put regular 87 octane fuel in the 6.2, but that it will detune itself. If you’re going to do that, then why get the 6.2? Listen, I’m an engineer. If something is designed for higher octane fuel, there’s reasons for it and that’s what I’m going to put in it. I’d never feel right putting regular grade fuel in the bigger 6.2L V8 with 11.5:1 compression, and had absolutely no interest in paying thousands more for a truck and then thousands more in fuel costs, all for performance that I didn’t really need or have much of an interest in. If I really want to go fast I can still take the 335i for a spin, which unlike these land yachts, actually has true sports car like cornering ability, and the overall handling and braking ability to back up the straight line performance. If I had something heavy to tow regularly that would be one thing, but otherwise it’s just looks and one-upsmanship in my opinion. :)
Focus On Running Costs, Not Just Fuel Mileage
In the grand scheme of things, the overall running costs of something like a Suburban are actually not that bad. No, it won’t beat a Chevy Traverse or a minivan, but it actually compares favorably to most any mid-sized or larger “luxury” SUV. What do the BMW X5 40i, BMW X7 40i, Mercedes GLS450, and the Volvo XC90 T6 (non-hybrid) all have in common? They actually have higher running costs than a Chevy Suburban! They might all have slightly better EPA fuel mileage ratings than the Suburban, but when you factor in that they all require premium grade fuel, any advantage in running costs just went away. The Volvo XC90 PHEV Hybrid will beat out the Suburban in running costs, but it’s as expensive as one too, and still not nearly big enough for us. Boo!
The Suburban actually has LOWER running costs than other large SUVs.
It’s a shame that diesel never really caught on in the U.S., and that the VW/Audi diesel emissions scandal broke all of the momentum right when diesel finally seemed to be getting there. Our traded 2012 BMW X5 was the turbodiesel model, and it was fantastic. Gobs of torque helped it feel very zippy around town, and the superior efficiency of diesel engines kept both fuel consumption and running costs lower, despite the wide price range through which diesel fuel can vary. A lot of these large SUVs are absolutely screaming for diesel engines, but between strict emissions requirements, the overall tax structure here in the U.S. including fuel taxes, and the VW/Audi diesel emissions scandal, there have just been too many headwinds in the U.S. for true mass market diesel acceptance here.
GM had actually developed a “baby” 4.5L Duramax V8 turbodiesel engine with 310hp and 510 ft-lbs of torque, which would have been ideal for their full-sized trucks including the Suburban, but scrapped production when the financial crisis hit in the late 2000’s. In a parallel universe I’d be driving a Suburban with one of those, but oh well.
Overall
Overall I love my new truck and have no regrets after 3 months and nearly 4000 miles, which is good because we’re broke after buying this thing! :) It’s definitely a luxury to be able to haul whomever and whatever I want, whenever I want, and not having to constantly ask Debbie to borrow her SUV, and then getting the riot act about not scratching it up or getting it dirty. It’s not a “chore” for me to drive or park, and it’s very easy for me to see why tons of people drive these, both male and female. I’ve never felt like I should have gotten the 6.2L V8 either, as the 5.3L and 6-speed automatic have both proven themselves without a doubt after some country two-lane passing maneuvers with a loaded truck. The Trump truck moves!
The Suburban is, of course, a beast in the snow even with all-season tires. The truck-based no nonsense 4WD system has locking differentials and just goes. With winter tires and a leveling kit and/or pulling off the front lip spoiler, it would basically be unstoppable in the snow, but we don’t have winter weather severe or long enough to warrant that here in the D.C. area.
You can tell that GM has really done their homework with these trucks, and engineered out as many reasons as possible that somebody might have for not buying one. You’d think it might have rough “trucky” ride or be uncomfortable, but it actually rides very smoothly and quietly. You’d think you’d never be able to drive something this big, but it actually feels much smaller to drive than it is. You’d think you’ll never be able to maneuver it or park in tight parking lots, but it actually turns quite sharply and is easy to maneuver and reverse into a space with very little practice. You’d think it’s going to be a dog to drive, but it’s actually reasonably zippy (with those 3.42 gears), and you can upgrade to the 6.2L V8 if you really want more power. You’d think it’s going to cost you a fortune in fuel to keep running. Well, that it might, but it actually has lower running costs than many luxury SUVs thanks to it’s lower stressed naturally aspirated V8 engine and only needing regular grade fuel. A lot of vehicles these days are ridiculously overcomplicated as well, with dozens of different driving modes, transmission modes, and AWD system modes to adjust just about everything. The Suburban has none of that and just goes, and yet everything feels just about right to me. The Suburban also has engineered simplicity, and I like that as well. Things don’t need to be so complicated.
Although I didn’t factor in or even foresee work hauling needs in buying a Suburban, I’ve recently needed to haul a bunch of test rigging and gear for work. The Suburban has come in extremely handy for that and really saved our butts as well, and whatever I can’t fit inside I can tow.
This might sound crazy, but I don’t actually miss driving my convertible at all. I loved it and enjoyed it and drove the hell out of it for 7 years after my cancer fight as a young adult. It was the right car for me to have at the time, but the painful truth is that the D.C. area is home to some of the worst drivers in the entire country, and the car might as well be invisible. Everybody is looking for a big SUV or a minivan and just don’t see small cars like these, especially with the top down. I could hardly go a day or two without having somebody nearly run me off the road, and it just got old after awhile, and made it difficult to enjoy such an amazing car when you had to be constantly on the lookout for the next moron that was going to try to run you off the road. The people here are absolutely terrifying to drive around, and it’s even more terrifying when you’re in a smaller vehicle.
My beloved 2011 BMW “E93” 335i convertible. It’s truly a glorious machine and literally the last of its breed with BMW’s classic hydraulic power steering, before they muddied their driving experience with over-electrified cars. I’m glad we kept this one.
There’s also a lot of passive aggressive types who are either jealous of a nice vehicle or otherwise mental in some way, assume the person driving it probably has money that they can sue for and have nothing to lose themselves, and then intentionally try to cause an accident with totally reckless maneuvers. Don’t think it doesn’t happen because it does, and that’s exactly why I put dash cameras in both of our vehicles! Debbie and I have both been “targeted” on the road numerous times in our Bimmers, and in ways that never happened when we were driving our Toyota’s.
On that note, I love that the rate of accident avoidance type BS has gone way down in the Suburban. Most people are smart enough to just stay the f*ck out of your way in this thing and not do anything stupid around you, which is exactly what I wanted and another reason why I just got the ‘Burb. I can always count on totally idiotic and oblivious Toyota drivers to pull completely boneheaded maneuvers around me, but other than them I can finally drive in peace for the most part. I like that.
We miss our “his and her” Deep Sea Blue BMW pair! My wife’s 2012 X5 was a great vehicle that served us well, but our lives have changed and moved on, and even the new X7 wasn’t going to serve our needs.
I left it up to my wife on which one we traded, and she elected to keep the convertible and trade her X5, so for now she’s enjoying it and not having nearly as many issues. For whatever reason, I’m just a magnet for total sh*thead drivers, which also went into the decision matrix in buying my “Trump truck” Suburban. It was a sad day to turn over our keys and paperwork and leave the X5 at the dealership. It was a great vehicle that served us very well, but life has moved on for us and it was long past the time for a change.
I hope you enjoyed this review and that buyers of the 11th generation 2015-2019 Suburban find this helpful!
There’s always someone bigger than you, lol!
StevePake.com
The Truth About Electric Lawn Mower Horsepower
Who knew that one day I would get so pissed off at lawn freaking mower manufacturers, that I would feel the need to sound off about all of the shenanigans and totally deceptive and misleading marketing practices going on in the industry. Really? You can’t just walk into a store to look at lawn mowers without being fed a bunch of BS? Good grief!
For the first time in nearly 20 years, I finally have a real yard to maintain at our new house, after living in apartments since 2000 and then our yardless townhouse since 2007. I've been having both fun, and frustration, purchasing lawn and garden equipment! Who knew there would come a time where I'd get so annoyed with lawn mower manufacturers that I'd feel the need to write a blog about them. All I'll say is that considering the overall topic of my website, cancer support, I guess it's nice to have some first world problems for a change!
Why Is It So Hard To Shop For An Electric Lawn Mower?
When we moved into our new home in July of 2017, the grass was growing and a lawn mower was the last thing I had time to think about on top of all of the logistics of moving and hectic work schedules. I figured I'd try to be green and buy an electric mower, and save myself the trouble of oil changes and maintenance and all that. Our lot is big for our area at 8800 sq ft, but still relatively small in the grand scheme of things, so how are you supposed to know what you really need with an electric mower?
What makes it difficult to shop for electric lawn mowers is that they only advertise the voltage that the battery and electric motor run at, and not how much power they actually produce. These are two different things. How are you supposed to know the differences between how 20V, 40V, 56V, or even 80V electric lawn mowers perform, compared to what actual gas powered lawn mowers with anywhere from 3 to 6 horsepower will do? It's apples to oranges, and then you get to the issue of endurance. This is a non-issue with gas mowers, as they typically have more than enough internal fuel capacity for even larger yards, and if you run out you can just refill the tank and keep going. With an electric mower, if you can't finish mowing your yard on a single battery charge, you either need a very expensive additional battery, or have to wait an hour to recharge the first, which can be a major inconvenience.
Claims of "gas-like power" or "torque of gas", enough battery capacity to cover "90% of yards", and run times of "up to" 60 minutes or whatever are all incredibly generic weasel words, and highly prone to interpretation and misinterpretation. I guess I thought in my mind that a middle of the range 40V electric lawn mower ought to be enough. Was it? Well, I think you might know where I'm going, but read on to find out!
A 4HP Self-Propelled Gas Lawn Mower BASELINE
Image via Google search, not my exact mower but close!
In the 1990's, Homelite was a very reputable company that produced a full range of highly rated gas powered lawn and garden equipment. They don't have the full line of products that they used to, but they're still around, and I still remember my Homelite HSB21P4C mower. That's Homelite Super Bagger, 21", Self-Propelled, with a 4HP gas engine, and a blade Clutch that allowed you to just idle the engine with the blade stopped while you emptied the bag without having to restart the engine. Don't ask me how the heck I remembered that, but when you're a kid and can't even drive yet, getting a new lawn mower is pretty exciting. It was a pretty darned good mower, too. I was worried that 4 hp might not be enough when there were 5 to 6.5 hp mowers out there, but it was never lacking for power. It propelled itself up hills with a heavy bag filled with clippings just fine, and although it may have bogged down at times in taller grass that might have been a bit wet or required you to slow down a tad, it always kept going and never quit. It had just the right amount of power, not too little and not too much. I guess this was what I was expecting out of my 40V electric lawn mower, which wasn't even self-propelled, and so all motor energy would be going straight to the blades and none to the wheels. Surely this must be enough, right?
MY 40V/4AHr Electric Lawn Mower
First time mowing with my new electric lawn mower. Branding has been intentionally photoshopped out. There are industry wide shenanigans going on, so the point was not to single out any one manufacturer.
My wife knew I was looking for an electric lawn mower as we were moving. She saw this one come up on Amazon Prime Day on July 11, 2017 for just $199 last year and told me about it. It looked good enough to me, and heck for only $199 why not? I took a leap of faith and just blindly hip-fired the mower and jumped on it, hoping it would be enough. Honestly, it's a great 3 in 1 mower for the money (rear bagging, side discharge, or mulching), but unfortunately it just couldn't get the job done.
One of the first things I noticed was that it would shut down in heavier grass, and I was constantly tilting it on its side trying to clear all of the clippings out from under the deck in mulching mode. It just couldn't maintain the blade RPM needed and would "stall" all the time, and overall didn't do the greatest job of mowing. Not only did it not have the power to really mulch well, but it also didn't have the suction to stand our mix of grass and weeds up straight enough to get a clean cut either. It would always leave rows of grass and weeds that would just get knocked over more than cut, and I'd have to end up going at certain areas again from the opposite direction to get a better cut. Even more frustrating was the lack of manual power control combined with all of the irregularities of our lawn. It would leave itself in high power mode as I exited thick grass, and would drop itself down to normal power mode right as I was hitting thick stuff again, and couldn't stay in sync. What it really needed was a High, Normal, and an Auto power control lever, but didn't have one.
As far as yard size and capacity, our house is on an 8800 sq ft lot with a front and rear portion, about half of which is mowable lawn. In the late summer and into the fall when the grass wasn't really growing that much, it would finish the whole yard on its 4 AHr battery with about 25% or less charge left. I knew this was pretty marginal, and I wondered how it would do in peak growing season or as the battery aged and lost a bit of its natural capacity? The answer came this past spring when the grass started growing like crazy. This forced the mower into its high power mode almost all the time, and then it could only do just over half of our yard on a single charge! I had to wait an hour for it to recharge before finishing the backyard, which was annoying. There's a slot for a second battery right on the mower itself, but they really kill you on these batteries. $100 for another 40V 4AHr battery was a bit steep for me, especially when the mower was already under-powered and not mowing that well in the first place.
Overall I was pretty disappointed. Clearly I needed "more mower", and decided to just cut my losses and get another one.
Dead battery and still plenty of lawn to mow! Well ****! >:-(
Because everybody loves waiting for a lawn mower battery to recharge and finishing mowing in the dark, right? Had no choice! Rain was coming!
THe electric lawn mower Marketing Weasel Words
Total BS on display.
I love all of these claims about "gas-like power" and "torque of gas" for electric mowers, and how even the lower end gas mower manufacturers are playing stupid games by only advertising the peak "gross torque" of their gas engines. None of this tells you a damned thing, and since since when did the lawn mower market become so ridiculous with such deceptive marketing? Really? You can't just be straightforward with freaking lawn mowers? What on earth??
Hey, I have "torque of gas"! If I apply my entire 260 pound weight to a bicycle pedal with a 1 foot long crank, I'm making 260 ft-lbs of torque. Sweet! So I can power a car, right? Ha! No, because how quickly can I spin that pedal while applying that force to get actual work done? Not that fast. Just like electric motors, human beings make "peak torque" at 0 RPM, and then our torque curves rapidly fall off from there. How much "power" can I really produce?
This isn't rocket science. There's a very simple formula for this.
Horsepower = (Torque x RPM) / 5252
Lets say I could still apply 10% of that torque at 100rpm. How much power am I making? Per the formula, (26 ft-lbs x 100 rpm) / 5252 = 0.5 HP!! Right. That's not powering a car, or even a lawn mower. If I go all out in spinning class at the gym, I can hit a little over 1000 watts for a brief and glorious few completely unsustainable seconds, which is 1.34 horsepower (746 Watts = 1 horsepower). In that burst of glory, that comes out to about 54 ft-lbs of torque at 130 rpm (or 47 ft-lbs at 150 rpm). In reality, most professional cyclists can sustain an output of about 280-300 watts for hours on end, which is around 0.4 horsepower.
"Gas torque" doesn't mean that you have gas horsepower. And what does "gas-like power" even mean? If an electric mower really had "gas power" they could just advertise the horsepower of the electric mower, right? But they don't, so obviously they're hiding something. If you hit a patch of thick grass at a given speed, you need a certain amount of power (not torque) to get through it. If your lawn mower doesn't have enough power, it's going to bog down or even stop, unless you reduce your power demands on the mower by slowing down, possibly to a crawl, such that the rate at which you're demanding power to mow isn't exceeding the amount of power your lawn mower can deliver.
Lawn Mowing Is An Endurance Race, Not A Drag Race
There's an old saying that horsepower sells cars, but torque wins races. Well, that can be true for automobiles if we're talking about runs down the drag strip, and getting a nice hole shot off the line thanks to a mountain of torque (and traction). Watch most any Tesla Model S P85D or higher at the drag strip destroying tons of exotic cars, and you'll see what I mean. Maybe that's what the lawn mower manufacturers want you to think, and are preying upon consumer ignorance here by advertising "gross torque" and not even net torque, and are constantly trying to hide the actual horsepower output! Torque alone tells you nothing.
But we're not talking about drag racing here. We're talking about steady state mowing with very small engines or motors running at their maximum operating speeds. Horsepower is what's going to win this race and get your lawn mowed, without having to slow to a crawl to avoid your engine stalling. What happens to electric cars at higher speeds or from 50 km/h rolls? They make a ton of torque (and power) up to a given speed, but after that they just fall off like a rock and get walked all over by cars that don't necessarily have more horsepower, but that maintain higher levels of horsepower to higher speeds, and thus "can do more work at higher speeds". Horsepower is what you need for mowing your lawn, not "gas-like power" or "torque of gas". That's total BS!
/rant1
How Much Horsepower Does This THing Really Have?
When it comes to actual mowing performance, all I can say about my 40V electric mower is that it's nowhere close to my old Homelite 4 hp gas mower that I used growing up, which I guess is kinda what I was expecting or hoping for. To be fair, the manufacturer, which I'm not singling out here or even identifying, never made any horsepower claims about this mower, but it doesn't even mow like a "low end" 3 horsepower gas mower would either. A 3 hp lawn mower will bog down when you start running it through thick grass, but will keep going if you're gentle enough. This electric mower doesn't bog down in heavy grass, it just stops. It can't handle it at all. It will get it done, but you have to be exceedingly gentle with it. So based purely on how it mows, I'd say this 40V electric lawn mower has a best of just 2 horsepower!
I'm an engineer, so I figured I'd try to be a little more scientific than just run what ya brung type "butt dyno" (grass dyno?) type testing. We can get a ballpark estimate of how much power this thing is cranking out based on the energy content of the battery, and how quickly it can drain itself. The battery is a claimed 40V and 4AHr battery which means it should be able to deliver 4 Amps of current for 1 hour at 40 volts. However, while pretty solidly in high power mode, it will actually go through an entire battery in a matter of 15-20 minutes. Let's say that it has an endurance of 15 minutes in high power mode. That means it's drawing about 16 Amps of current. 40V x 16 Amps = 640 Watts of power.
1 Electrical Horsepower is defined as 746 Watts,
so 640 Watts is not even 1 HP!!!!
Umm, Houston, we have a problem here.
I haven't precisely measured how long the battery will drain if the mower is at high power mode the entire time. Maybe it's 10 minutes? That would be 24 Amps of current and let’s say a peak power of 1000 Watts, or 1KW. And more than likely, 40 volts is just the nominal rating of the battery, and it's probably running more like 45 volts. And maybe the battery is really more than about 4 AHr, or there's a variance to the high power mode that you can't really tell to give it an extra boost when needed, and assume 100% efficiency all around which isn't true even with electric motors, and blah blah blah....
Even being as generous as possible and making every assumption in favor of this mower that I can, I can't get the math to work out with this thing having anything more than about
1.5 peak horsepower!
And the reality is that it’s probably really sub 1-horsepower, as I suspect.
Gas like power? Compared to what? A weed whacker??
Riiiiiiight....
Actually, YES!
A Honda GX35 4-stroke 35cc weed-whacker type engine is rated to make 1.3 net horsepower, so there you go. That's what they mean by "gas-like power".
What a friggin joke.
So a 40V electric lawn mower probably doesn't have more than about a weed whacker level power, or at least this one doesn't appear to!
Honestly, if I had known that this mower only had a best of <1.5 horsepower, I never would have bought it because I'd have known right away that that wasn't gonna work! Maybe if you have a nice smooth lawn with no weeds or other grub, sure, but my lawn that the previous owners of our home left in a complete state of neglect? Ha ha! No freaking way. I bet the manufacturers of these things think that you never would have bought the mowers if you knew their actual horsepower either, which is precisely why they try to hide behind voltage ratings that don't tell you anything directly. Their weasel words and "gas like" power or "torque of gas" claims when they know it's a massive stretch and incredibly misleading is precisely why I felt the need to sound off in this blog as as a buyer beware notice!!!
It's Not Just Electric Lawn Mower Manufacturers
This isn't just about electric lawn mowers, though. I have to call out gas mower companies too, for the completely misleading claims that they're making also. What ever happened to the base model 3 hp gas lawn mowers? Well, when you see a gas mower only advertising "gross torque" and not horsepower, that's apparently how they market 3 hp class gas mowers today.
A certain gas lawn mower I saw with an unnamed but very well known brand of engine was advertising itself as having "6.75 ft-lbs of gross torque". What the hell is that? Well if you look up the engine directly at the engine manufacturer's website, you can get the full torque curve in a PDF and see that it's actually only making 5.25 ft-lbs of gross torque at the operational speed of 3600 rpm that most gas lawn mower engines have always run at. Using the formula, (5.25 ft-lbs x 3600 rpm) / 5252 = 3.6 gross horsepower. Now keep reading the fine print, and you'll see that's without air cleaner or an exhaust or small muffler installed, which is absolutely NOT how gas freaking lawn mowers that can kick up all sorts of dust and debris are ever run. That would be like instant death for a mower. The actual power you'll be getting "to the pavement" (the grass) is the "net horsepower", so figure maybe 10% lower figures than gross. You now have 3.25 net horsepower.
Boy, 6.75 ft-lbs of "gross torque" at a lower RPM that the mower never operates at sure sounds a lot better, so that's what they go with these days, and they figure that consumers are stupid enough to fall for it or just won't know any better. Better yet, if you end up buying something that ends up not working for you due to confusion, you have to buy another lawn mower, and they love that even more. That's what they want. They want you to be as confused as possible so that you hopefully buy the wrong thing, and then have to buy again. You see how this little scam works? Yeah (bleep) that!!!!
/rant2
So yeah, I "fell for it", but fortunately was only out $199, and now needed to buy another mower. Too much money for another battery for the electric mower that I bought that doesn't even do a very good job in the first place isn't smart money.
Time To Upgrade, BUt What To Get?
Considering I had done exactly zero research on this mower or electric mowers in general and just sort of hip-fired it off of Amazon and hoped it would work out, I was perfectly willing to give another electric mower a chance, now having a much better idea of what I needed. I'm not biased one way or another, and actually kinda wanted an electric mower to work out. They're quieter and can be stored vertically and take up a ton less garage space, and ultimately are going to have much lower operational costs than a gas. I wanted an electric mower to work for me, so if I was biased at all, it was actually towards getting another electric mower.
I knew that I clearly needed something with more oomph than a 40V motor could provide, and about double the capacity of the 40V/4AHr battery. Based on a read through Consumer Reports magazine online and other reviews, which I should have checked the first time around (I'm a lifelong subscriber to CR), it looked like the EGO 56V self-propelled lawn mower with a 7.5 AHr battery probably would do the trick for me. This is actually the only electric lawn mower that Consumer Reports magazine recommends, and seems to be at a pretty good price point at $499 with the battery and cooled charger included!
At a 40% higher operating voltage and assuming all other factors are equal, this 56V EGO mower might be equivalent to about a 2.0 to 2.5 hp gas mower on its best day or peak power level. That's still marginal power at best, but it's important to focus on how well something actually works, and less on the numbers. The Consumer Reports review was pretty favorable, as were a few YouTube reviews, but I actually saw another YouTube video of this mower grinding to a stop in the same irregular grass that I have. Not exactly confidence inspiring. I was already committing to buying a second mower, and would have been kicking myself if this next one couldn't hack it either. I felt like I needed a mower with both double the power and double the capacity at the same time. I was confident about the EGO having enough endurance, but only 40% more assumed power just wasn't what I was looking for. I don't have a big yard, but definitely need the power to get through grass, crab grass, weeds, and other super thick patches of combinations of all of the above that I have, otherwise a mower will just grind to a stop like my 40V electric was doing all the time.
I was torn and could have gone either way between the 56V EGO mower with 7.5 AHr and a base level Honda lawn mower that had a 160cc engine with a legit 4.5 "net horsepower" that would run all day for $100 less money. I actually have a Honda powered pressure washer that I've owned for years now, so it's not like I don't already have a small gas can for it, and oil to change once in awhile.
Our homeowners association ended up making the decision for me!
Electric Would Have Been Fine, but My HOA inadvertently Convinced Me To Get Gas!
This is now a funny story, but yes, my homeowners association mistakenly cited me for grass that was too long, even though I had just mowed it literally hours before we started getting over a week of solid rain. Yes, the grass got quite long, but adding injury to insult, the alleged inspection came during all of the rain when nobody could mow. I was already pretty pissed off about falling prey to deceptive and misleading marketing practices and needing to buy another lawn mower, and now I was double pissed off about being hassled by our HOA, not yet realizing it was a mistake and meant for another property.
My "1.5 horsepower on the best possible day" electric mower would have absolutely choked on this grass after all of the rain we got. It literally has weed-whacker levels of power, which explains quite a bit! I would have had to raise the deck height all the way up, and probably run through the battery a few times, and mow a few times just to get it back into HOA spec. Needless to say, I don't have time for crap like this, and I especially don't have the patience to be hassled by our HOA for something so absurd! My wife and I are two busy professionals with two young children at home, a dog, and a disabled person that we care for full time, and I've had to travel for work quite a bit lately. I just need to be able to mow when I have time to mow, and not think about if it's dry enough, what the weather forecast says, what time of day it is, or when our HOA might be eyeing our property (we live right across the street from their office!)
Very long and still somewhat wet grass, but no choice but to mow because it was going to rain even more!
Honda fire-breathing GCV190 powered self-propelled lawn mower. VTEEEEEC!!!!!!!
So I just said (bleep) it and got a Honda HRX21VKABCDEFG blah blah blah professional grade mower with the bigger 190cc vs 160cc engine, and 5.1 net (3.8kW) "all day" horsepower rather than 4.4 hp with the slightly smaller engine, and paid $599 for it rather than $399 for the lower tier Honda. Yes, this is total absolute overkill for my yard, but the first time I mowed with it put a smile on my face, and I knew I had made a great choice. It plowed right through even the thickest portions of my tall and still very slightly damp grass with zero bleeps given amounts of power. It has so much power and suction that it stands even the annoying weeds straight up and delivers a nice clean cut. It's awesome. I can mow whenever I want with my 'big block' Honda mower, and if anybody asks me why I've gone all 'eco-terrorist' and didn't get an electric mower, I can point right across the street to our HOA's office, too. :-)
Damn! Look at those lines and that nice clean and even cut!
Still a lot of work to do, but our yard is looking better and better.
The "hole" in the yard is from where a more than half dead tree had to come down. I've seeded it and grass is just starting to grow there now.
I eventually had to switch to partial bagging mode because it was just too much to be mulching well for any mower, but this 5.1 net horsepower (3.8kW) mower chewed right through it all at speed.
Ultimately, both I and the HOA realized the mistake at about the same time. This was actually the second "fix-it" notice that I had received, and there were other fix-it requests on this notice that just made no sense at all, and seemed to fit some nearby properties better. I brought it to the HOA's attention who had already realized the mistake themselves, and were profusely apologetic about it. It didn't change the fact that it pissed me off to high heaven at the time, and that I bought fat and happy gas mower because of it. Hey, it's fate. I was just meant to get a gas mower. :-) Even if a better electric would have had enough power, it still wouldn't have mowed as well with the raw power this gas mower has to stand everything straight up as you mow and give a nice clean cut. Our yard and mixture of grass and weeds is very irregular, which is precisely where extra power comes in handy.
A SUmmary of Electric Lawn Mower Horsepower guEsstimates
In summary, here's my best guesstimate of actual electric lawn mower horsepower based on some back of the envelope calculations from my 40V electric mower, and comparisons with actual ownership and use of 4 hp and 5 hp gas mowers, watching a few YouTube videos and reading reviews of the 56V EGO mower, and some feedback from someone I know who has an 80V mower.
Less than 40V: don't even freaking bother. You're talking sub 1 horsepower here. Maybe there are some lawns out there where this might be enough, but certainly not mine!
40V class: about 1.0 to 1.5 horsepower being as optimistic as possible. Enough if you have nice even grass and few weeds, but consider this the bare minimum, and totally inadequate if you have thicker stuff and/or weeds to get through. You'll regret it like I did. There's a reason why none of these lower voltage electric mowers are recommended by Consumer Reports magazine.
56/60V class: maybe about 2.0 to 2.5 horsepower also being very optimistic, but finally kinda like a real gas mower. Although I haven't used one, they seem to be reasonably powerful and enough to cut through taller grass and some weeds, but YMMV, and the video I saw of one choking on some taller grass wasn't really confidence inspiring for a $499 investment. Given one bad experience with an electric mower, if this one crapped out on me too I'd have instant buyer's remorse and kick myself for not just getting a gas!
80V class: I honestly have no idea. The person that I know who has one has never felt like theirs was underpowered, but every yard and perspective is different, and the 80V motors could just be setup to deliver the same amount of power as a 56/60V mower with a bit less current draw from the battery. All other factors being equal, an 80V class mower could maybe be edging closer to 3 horsepower, but who knows? The people who make these aren't claiming "gas power", either!
120V Plug In Electric Mowers: Standard wall outlets in the U.S. are nominally 120V with 15A circuit breakers, but the maximum for continuous loads is 20% below that at 12 Amps, which is just below 1500W (1440W), and why our wives' hair dryers all have a maximum of "1500W". What's a few watts between friends? Thus, the theoretical maximum power you can get from a standard outlet for a plug-in electric lawn mower would be 1440W / 746W (per HP) = 1.93 "gross electrical horsepower". The reality with all of these electric motors is that they're not 100% efficient. Assuming 75-80% efficiency, you're looking at about 1.5 "net electrical horsepower at the blades", which is probably a bit better than my 40V mower, as my 1.5 hp estimate for my 40V mower is based on "gross consumption" and not "net power" after efficiency losses.
How Much Horsepower Are Those “Gross Peak Torque” Ratings Worth?
LOL
What "6.75 ft-lbs of gross torque" on a gas engine comes out to
The very well known small engine manufacturer that I called out earlier, and whose initials perhaps not ironically are "BS", is only advertising the peak gross torque rating of their engines these days. They have a bunch of engines, but here's the actual peak net horsepower at 3600 rpm of their engines that I had to hand calculate from their datasheet, because they don't want you to know. Net figures include the -10% correction going from gross to net.
150cc - 6.25 ft-lbs gross TQ at 2600 rpm but 5.70 ft-lbs @ 3600 rpm = 3.5 HP net
163cc - 6.75 ft-lbs gross TQ at 2600 rpm but 5.25 ft-lbs @ 3600 rpm = 3.25 HP net
163cc - 7.25 ft-lbs gross TQ at 2600 rpm but 6.00 ft-lbs @ 3600 rpm = 3.7 HP net
Yes, isn't it interesting that one of the engines with higher advertised peak gross torque actually has LESS peak horsepower than another with less torque? This is because the torque curve drops off like a rock on this engine at higher RPM, and thus it's less powerful while mowing your lawn with the engine at its high RPM operating speed! This is why advertising lawn mower engines by their peak gross torque ratings at engine speeds they never operate at while mowing is so freaking stupid and totally misleading.
Final Thoughts
It's so stupid that I managed to get pissed off enough at just how intentionally deceptive and misleading lawn mower manufacturers are being that I felt the need to go on a big rant and write this blog, but here we are, and here are my final thoughts.
ELECTRIC: If you want a pretty good electric lawn mower with a nice combination of both power and endurance, the EGO 56V 7.5AHr seems to be the sweet spot for both of those as of 2018, which is probably why it's the only electric mower that's been recommended by Consumer Reports magazine. I probably would have gotten one of these if it weren't for the mistaken citation by my HOA.
On a final side note, I saw a customer review at the EGO site claiming that this lawn mower out-performed a "6.25 horsepower" gas lawn mower. Uhh, with a new blade? And was it running properly? Were they actually running it at full power, unlike certain neighbors of mine that I constantly hear running their gas mower at idle while trying to mow their lawn? (I'm not joking!) Let's say it actually had the same 5.1 net horsepower as my Honda, and assume 100% efficiency. That's an output of 3.8kW, which would require 68 amps of current from the 56V battery. Based on the energy content of the battery, you would have 6 minutes of run time at that power level, and it would be smoldering hot when you were done. You would need 4 gauge wiring to handle that much current, which is what they might typically put on large electric furnaces for homes!! Call me skeptical, but this isn't passing my sniff test at all. I'm sure it's a great mower, but I can pretty much guarantee you that it doesn't have anywhere close to 5 or even 6 horsepower, or even "gas mower power", and they don't even claim that it does!
I’m pretty darned sure that this person surely must have confused horsepower with the "peak gross torque" rating of their gas mower, and that it actually only has around 3 horsepower. That would be far more believable and make sense!
But anyways, the EGO gets a recommendation from CR and a lot of positive reviews elsewhere, so I'm sure it's a fine mower.
GAS: For gas mowers, I would just get a HONDA. The base Honda mowers are very good and highly rated at Consumer Reports, and 4.4 net horsepower is more than enough power. I'm extremely pleased with my 5.1 net horsepower (3.8 kW) Honda HRX21VKA. It will plow through anything, at any time, no questions asked, and with zero bleeps given, and has a solid warranty. It ran right through my super tall grass at full speed, and probably has triple if not quadruple the power of whatever my 40V electric mower has just based on mowing performance alone, so I know my estimate and calculations of about 1.0 to 1.5 hp peak for my electric is probably pretty accurate.
Another thing I like about Honda is that they're actually being HONEST, and publish the full power and torque curves for the engines, and in NET horsepower and torque rather than gross. Unlike a lot of the other manufacturers, Honda has a very powerful brand name to stand behind, so perhaps they can let the quality of their products and engineering speak for itself, and don't feel the need, or like it would be beneath them, to resort to cheap lies, dirty tricks, and lying by omission to sell their product. In a world filled with so much BS, I appreciate a company that's honest. Thanks, Honda. There are cheaper gas mowers out there from reputable brands that I'm sure do a perfectly good job of mowing, but I can't recommend the products of companies that are marketing their goods in such stupid and misleading ways, even if they work OK in the end.
Honda Lawn Mower. Yup, very smart not lying out their asses about their specs or performance like so many other manufacturers!
I hope this helped!
Don't lie or mislead about technical things to an engineer, because they'll find you out and call you out! I really can't believe all of the shenanigans going on in the lawn mower industry, and that I felt the need to write a blog about it, but this is just plain ridiculous. How on earth did the lawn mower industry become so freaking dishonest and misleading? What in the world?? No standards, no shame, but considering the overall topic of my website, it's nice to have some first world problems to rant about once in awhile. :-) Honda is actually being honest, and so I'm happy to give them my money.
If you're someone who has more technical information about these things, or better ability to test them than I do with insights to share, get in touch. I'd love to hear from you.
APRIL 2020 UPDATE
For awhile this has been the #1 blog on my entire website, and it gets thousands of hits per month from early spring through the summer. It’s the first search result for “electric lawn mower horsepower” on most search engines, and I appreciate all of the comments and emails that I get. I’m glad so many have found this blog and enjoyed it, and hopefully gotten a laugh or two out of it. So thanks, and I figured I’d post a quick update nearly two years out from this fiasco.
I donated the electric mower to the local Habitat for Humanity Re-Store last year in 2019, so hopefully it went to a good home while contributing to a good non-profit organization, and that the person who bought it didn’t find this blog! LOL!
For the record, I do have a Ryobi 40V string trimmer, that I also got the hedge trimmer, leaf blower, and pole saw attachments for. When it went on sale last year, I also got the Ryobi 40V dedicated chain saw as much for the extra 40V battery as for having a real saw. THOSE I LIKE!!!! They all have an appropriate amount of power, and it’s nice to have a second 40V battery now also. They’re all very nice products, and saves me the trouble of having to have another gas can with 2-cycle fuel-oil mix.
The fire-breathing 190cc Honda “big block VTEC” mower is running great. No regrets on that, but I probably could have saved myself some money by just getting the 160cc model. I was obviously pissed off when I bought the bigger one, but it seriously has “zero f*cks given” amounts of power, and it puts a smile on my face whenever I plow through way too tall grass at full speed, and it just takes it. Professional grade, bruh. I bought one for my parents also, the fancier one with the electric start, because their old mower was crap. They love it too and said it’s amazing, and that they can mow their yard in half the time with it, and that it gives them a good workout keeping up with it! Lol! They have a much larger yard, but it’s too hilly and sloped for a rider, so it’s the perfect mower for them. Honda truly makes good stuff.
Thanks again for stopping by and reading!
So This Is 40 - DC Area Food Porn
To celebrate our 40th birthdays on October 27th and January 1st (well, Debbie is turning 28 again!), we ate our way through DC with family and friends. We're a few grand poorer and a couple of pounds heavier, but it was worth it! Here's the story and a ton of photos. :-)
Ever since my cancer diagnosis at the age of 33 back in 2011, it had just been stuck in my mind that I would never actually make it to 40. There's no such thing as an easy cancer, and even with my good risk disease I still felt cursed and like I wasn't going to be long for this world. Why do we travel like we do, why do we try to enjoy life like we do? Because we've both learned in very personal ways how quickly lives can change, and that nothing is guaranteed. So yeah, finally actually turning 40 on October 27th, 2017 after years of mental struggle, and having the impossible redefined in my mind was definitely a cause for celebration. Celebrate we most certainly did, early and often.
Part of me wanted to throw a big party with all of my closest friends and people that had really been there for my family and I over the years, but I've become extremely superstitious and wary of such things, as if any over the top celebrations would attract unwanted attention and reverse fortunes. No thanks to that - we've been through quite enough already. Honestly, the Testicular Cancer Summit that I co-founded and chaired, which was held from October 13-15th, 2017 and just two weeks from my birthday, was the only "big" birthday celebration I really needed. I put my heart and soul and so much personal time into making that event all that it was, and it was a huge gift both to the community that I'd been serving for years after my testicular cancer fight, and an amazing 40th birthday gift to myself.
For the actual birthday celebrations though, we're foodies, so we did what foodies do. :-)
Click on the collage images to get to the photo album for each restaurant!
In case I didn't actually make it to my 40th birthday on October 27th, we were sure to start the festivities early, and got things rolling with a trip to Fish by Jose Andres at the MGM National Harbor Casino with our friends Kim & Cliff. Kim is a long-time friend and colleague of Debbie's, and Cliff is a fellow engineer and Scorpio, and we always have a fun time out with them.
An interesting thing about living in the DC area is that there are a lot of interracial couples here. It seems like every other couple we know are interracial. Not that I give this too much thought, but I think there's a special kinship amongst interracial couples, as there's always unique challenges, different cultures coming together, and usually a lot of fascinating travel, all of which just makes things more interesting. It takes a special kind of couple and a special kind of love to overcome the significant challenges that interracial couples can face. Kim and Cliff are certainly no exception to that, and these two have some pretty good stories! You can just feel their love and that chemistry, and how that was able to power through what they faced, and I just love being around these guys.
As for the food, Fish was pretty good, but in the grand scheme of things it wasn't all that special. Keep in mind our perspectives here in that we're foodies that have been to multi Michelin Star rated restaurants. If you're at the casino and want a decent meal, Fish will certainly deliver and most of the dishes were pretty good, but it's not a place we'd go back to. The fun night out with friends is what really mattered though, and it was a great time!
Bourbon Steak - october 7th, 2017
I don't just love these guys, I adore them. Natalie and Mark Way are two truly special people in my life. Natalie is just beautiful, inside and out, and has been the sister to me that I've always needed but have never really had. And Mark is a riot, and can get a rise out of anybody, perhaps at his own expense more often then he'd like to admit, but either way you're laughing and having a good time!
When I was suffering from PTSD after cancer I couldn't be left alone, but Debbie couldn't be by my side at every moment and was on-call and gone on weekends a lot. We just didn't have the close-in family support that we needed, and that's the precise moment in time that the Universe finally conspired to allow us to meet, and Natalie and Mark very much became a second family to me and to us. Needless to say, every outing with these two is a special occasion for me, and I'm blessed that there's been so many over the years now! It's like sitting down for dinner with people that really helped to rescue you from something terrible and that have become close friends, and feeling such immense gratitude every time. I count these friends of mine as one of my life's great blessings, and Natalie's birthday is September 25th, so close enough to celebrate together! :-)
Oh, Bourbon Steak! Yeah, it was amazing. I had the full Wagyu Beef Miyazaki Trio (and not just the sampler), which was hundreds of dollars just by itself. Because why not?!?! You only turn 40 once, and as far as I was concerned there was still a few weeks left for me to not actually make it to 40! If something was really going to go down in the next few weeks, then this was an amazing "last meal" out with two of my favorite people in the entire world. So yeah I had the full wagyu beef platter, god dammit!!! It was EPIC (the bill too), and and worth every penny!
Addies - October 27th, 2017 on my actual birthday!
For my actual birthday birthday on October 27th, we went to the new Addies. We had been to the old Addies a few times and loved going there for date nights. The previous location along the Pike just across from the old White Flint Mall (which was torn down and has become exactly nothing!) was pretty good. We'd heard mixed reviews about the new place, but absolutely loved it even if it was a bit pricey.
Métier - October 28th, 2017 (ONE Michelin Star)
Métier was actually a work function for Debbie's office, but hey it's Michelin Star rated and my birthday month, so why not? Métier was fantastic! It was actually ranked Washington DC's #1 restaurant by Washingtonian Magazine, so it's a shame that I honestly don't remember too much about this dinner! I ended up drinking both my and Debbie's very generous wine pairings, and she had to drive home!! I didn't even get a photo of us, but all of the dishes from the fish and the steak and other were melt in your mouth good, and definitely worthy of their Michelin Star rating.
Normandie Farm - November 3rd, 2017
Next up was Normandie Farm with my folks, and my aunt and uncle who were celebrating a wedding anniversary, and for my cousin who was celebrating graduating from college. Quite a lot to celebrate. We'd never actually never been to Normandie Farm before, but it's an old favorite in the area and was pretty good as well.
The Inn At Little Washington - November 5th, 2017 (TWO Michelin Stars)
The Inn at Little Washington is a very special place for Debbie and I, and we try to go at least once per year. The first time we went for Debbie's birthday on January 1st, 2013 (we went a few days before, between Christmas and New Years), I was actually in the midst of having major posttraumatic stress issues after cancer. I was so afraid and broken inside, and didn't know how to stop feeling so broken. A friend I had made died, and I had a terrible recurrence scare and thought for sure that I was next, all of which just unleashed a lot of pain that I had unknowingly been holding inside since my cancer fight.
Our trip to The Inn that year was a change of pace, a change of scenery, a breathe of fresh air, and a truly amazing meal. We stayed at their hotel, and it was a nice little escape from the very painful world that I suddenly found myself in. I didn't know what I needed to do, or how I needed to live my life after cancer. Even though I was nearly two years out from my diagnosis, I was only at the very beginning of learning how to grow past it. Dealing with PTSD after cancer, I felt very threatened and like my life was in danger at all times. The first time we went to The Inn, it was an amazing "last meal" if something was truly going to happen to me in the next few months. Nothing ever did, and I'm still here, and The Inn has been a very special place to me ever since.
Our first trip to The Inn at Little Washington helped to reset me, reset my mind, and taught me some very important things. It taught me to get away every now and then and to take time out just for yourself. It taught me to truly enjoy the company of the people that I had in my life, and The Inn also turned me into a foodie! You have to eat, so why not eat something amazing? The Inn at Little Washington isn't just a two Michelin Star meal, it's a journey and an escape from our busy and hectic lives in the DC suburbs. It's always worth the trip, not just for an amazing world class meal, but for the time away to be spent just with people you love. It's worth the journey every time.
Joe's Seafood, Prime Steak & Stone Crab DC - December 23rd, 2017
Due to our crazy schedules, my folks never actually got to celebrate my birthday around my birthday. I finally got to celebrate with them near Christmas, and Debbie's birthday too, with a trip to Joe's Seafood, Prime Steak & Stone Crab in DC. This is another great place that we've been coming to for years, and it never disappoints. It's always excellent, the service is great, and the food is top notch. Don't forget the desserts, which are amazing too!
RPM Italian - December 28th, 2017
Next up on the list for Debbie's birthday was a trip to one of our favorites, RPM Italian, with our favorite people once again, Natalie and Mark. Natalie has not just been an amazing friend and sister to me, but to Debbie as well. Sadly, both Debbie and I have faced estrangement issues from our own sisters, which has really been hurtful to both of us in various ways. To have found that sort of connection in another, and in someone right down the street, is just another of the ways in which we consider these guys such blessings in our lives.
RPM Italian is a great place, and having been there a few times for various occasions or fun nights out, we're RPM Italian professionals now, and know exactly what to get. Mark and I just sat back and let our foodie twin wives do all of the menu jockeying and ordering! Another great meal and birthday celebration out, with some friends that we truly love.
Urban Hot Pot - December 30th, 2017
From Michelin Star level dining and top notch places in downtown DC, to just plain trashy! I wouldn't call Urban Hot Pot trashy. It's just the best and newest Asian hot pot place in the Rockville, MD area in which we live. Hey, the birthday girl wanted hot pot, so the birthday girl got hot pot! As you could see from the sign, it was literally just opening, and it was great! It's all you can eat for two hours, and there's tons of items that you can order, along with picking things up right off of the conveyor belt if you get one of those seats. It was great, although we think the kitchen can get a little backed up at times, as it can be quite a while between placing an order for a dish from the kitchen and actually getting it. But beggars can't be choosers. This place has been swamped since it's opened, and you'll probably end up having to wait most nights unless you get there right at 5pm when they open for dinner. It's definitely a great Asian hot pot dining experience. Just get there early.
Fiola - January 14th, 2018 (One Michelin Star)
If you want to know what the difference is between Michelin Star rated dining and not, go to RPM Italian above, and then take a trip to Fiola, which got a single Michelin star. At RPM Italian, you'll get a lot of great food and have an awesome dining experience, even if RPM Italian didn't even make it into Michelin's guide at all. A place like Fiola with a Michelin star takes things to the next level where the food starts to become exotic both in taste and in artistry. We've actually been to Fiola a few times now, and their chef likes to mix things up as the menu had changed quite a bit from the last time we had been there. It was almost an entirely new dining experience with a lot of new dishes, and reinterpretations of older ones. We went with our friends Kim and Cliff once again, as it was close enough to Kim's birthday for her to celebrate too.
Hot N Juicy - January 21st, 2018
Because Asian... Debbie was born in Taiwan, and seafood was one of Taiwan's primary industries, so there's always a healthy appetite for seafood in the family. A trip to Hot N Juicy Crawfish in Falls Church, VA always makes for a great meal. We've been to the one near the DC Zoo, but it's virtually impossible to park at on a weekend, so our choice in the area is to just go to the Falls Church location, where there's easy parking right behind the restaurant.
K Rico (NYC) - January 26th, 2018
An Argentinian steak restaurant had long been on our list to try. There's a couple of them in the DC area, but have never managed to make it to any. A weekend trip to New York City at the end of July finally managed to cross that foodie box for us. K Rico on 9th Ave was amazing. Everything was delish, and the portions were unexpectedly huge! We ended up ordering way too much food. With apologies to hardcore steak fans, half the family gets sick on steak if it's anything less than well done, so yes, we need ours cooked all the way through. It's actually a great test for a steak place to ask for a well done steak, and seeing if they can deliver that while having it still be very moist and flavorful. K Rico did not disappoint, and we'd definitely go there again.
Nobu 57 (NYC) - January 27th, 2018
Last call for Debbie's birthday month was at Nobu 57 in NYC, at you guessed it, 57th street! We had been to NYC once before quite a long time ago, and needed to go again, and by this time we were both so full and so stuffed from a few months of celebrating and so many other goodies in NYC, that it was tough to even think about food anymore! We had our kid with us in NYC, so nothing exotic like Daniel was on tap. Maybe next time!
So there you have it! 40 - I mean 28 - and 40! There's so many more people that we'd have loved to celebrate with, but way too many people spread all over the place, and I was way too superstitious to want to even attempt to throw a big event like that. And besides, I kinda already did. We're definitely a few grand poorer and a few pounds heavier from all of our foodie partying and celebrating ways, but eating our way through DC was totally worth it all. If God forbid something happens to me now, at least I don't need to eat or have a "last meal" anymore! Boxes already checked!
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